Desired, p.25
Desired, page 25
I wouldn’t have approached Devin alone under any circumstances, but as he stumbled into another car — a blue BMW — it seemed like a good idea to at least make sure he wasn’t going to die at the party. As we approached him, I got a panicked text from Violet.
Violet: Who the hell invited Jude?
Me: Um… definitely not me.
Violet: I’ll make sure Crispin doesn’t see that he’s here. Where are you?
Me: Good luck.
Me: Talking to Trevor.
Violet: ??
I could see why that might confuse her. Unfortunately, I would have to explain the Trevor thing later. I shoved my phone in my pocket as Trevor called Devin’s name. Devin responded with a tragic grunt that sounded like two pigs making love. He stumbled forward into a Jeep and caught his reflection in the side mirror, staring at it for a suspiciously long time.
Trevor continued trying to help. “You alright, mate? You look pissed.”
Devin slurred something unintelligible and then dropped to his knees, vomiting again.
“I want her back,” he murmured. “I want her back…”
Then he started to fall over.
“He’s going to land in the vomi—”
Before I could finish my sentence, Devin fell face first into his own vomit. I gagged. The disgusting scene was more than I could handle. Trevor shrieked in disgust and nudged Devin with his toe, attempting to move his lips away from the pavement. Devin made another annoying grunting sound.
“We should move him,” Trevor said, giving me a look that really meant “You, Amina Hewett, should move Devin.”
I glowered at Trevor. If we’d minded our business and walked back into the party, we wouldn’t have seen Devin passing out in his own vomit in the first place.
“Maybe we should call for backup,” I offered instead. Trevor was still nudging Devin’s face with his shoe, which was beginning to look more and more like kicking by the second.
“I’ll go. You stay with him,” Trevor offered, “heroically” leaving the scene for me to handle on my own.
Before I could protest, Trevor sprinted back toward the barn. I was definitely fast enough to catch Trevor by now, but he would probably have kept kicking stupid Devin if I left him here alone with the passed-out idiot ginger.
I rolled Devin out of the vomit and checked his throat to see if he was choking. That disgusting procedure had basically been for no reason because Devin’s throat was clear and I ended up sticking my finger in his gross ass mouth for nothing. He groaned the entire time and then tried grabbing my face to kiss me when I withdrew my hand.
He was too drunk to make much headway so I wiped my hand off on his shirt, which was the smallest retribution. A few minutes later, Trevor came sprinting back to me. Without backup. I’d somehow dragged Devin a few feet away from his pile of vomit, but my back hurt and I was ready to give him a few kicks of my own.
It appeared like I’d have to save all my good kicks for Trevor.
“Trevor, what the hell!”
“Babe, you need to leave the redhead’s arse in the dust. Come. Now.”
“What? He’s unconscious, he needs help. Jeez, Trevor. The least you could do was get backup. You definitely had the easier job.”
“Amina, darling, this is important. Someone attacked Jude Fox and everyone’s blaming Crispin. Violet sent me back out here to grab you. Alright, babe?”
“What the hell is Jude Fox doing here?”
We couldn’t think of anyone who would defy Crispin’s wishes and invite him.
I was only repeating Violet’s earlier question to me, but as far as I knew, no one had any good answers for us, including Trevor.
“I dunno. But the police are returning with an ambulance and everything. They’ll be here in minutes.”
“The police? How freaking badly is he hurt?”
Trevor was getting sick of my questions. “I dunno. Come!”
Trevor’s interest in saving Devin vanished suddenly and he grabbed my hand, dragging me back towards the house. Crispin… what the hell have you gotten into this time? And as for Jude Fox… he had several enemies. I couldn’t be sure my boyfriend was the only one.
Chapter 37
Jude had been stabbed.
Crispin went willingly with the police, calmly saying that he hadn’t done anything and explaining that he had an airtight alibi, not to mention he hadn’t even known about the party, much less that Jude Fox would be attending. The cops, who had just been to the barn, were less than thrilled that they had to return. Despite liking Crispin, the older officer from earlier gave him a stern talking to.
Unfortunately, Crispin had a motive, and everyone at school could have confirmed that. Crispin had – unfortunately – also stabbed another pupil before and while the case hadn’t gone to court or anything, Crispin had gained a reputation for violence. Great. Just when he’d patched things back up with Freddie, he was falsely accused of attacking her ex. Or whatever Freddie and Jude were. I’d seen them talking once or twice, but Freddie assured me that nothing was going on between them anymore.
I suppose I wasn’t really sure the accusation was false. I hadn’t seen Crispin in just over an hour. I couldn’t exactly account for what he’d been up to the entire time. My stomach tightened at the thought that he could be in even more trouble after promising to get his act together. Ugh.
The paramedics were taking Jude away in a stretcher by the time I’d checked in with Crispin, who stood with the detectives, and then hurried back into the party.
I observed him for any signs of distress, but found none, not even the secret Crispin signs that only his girlfriend would know. He was devastatingly calm, as usual. He’d appeared calm when he’d been arrested for his parents’ murder too, but this didn’t make his behavior any less frustrating.
I promised Crispin I’d find him later either at the station or the cottage, even if he insisted that I stay behind and enjoy the party. White boy, after the third stern chat with the police in one night, I’m pretty sure the party is over.
Plus, a visit to the police station was only a step above being under arrest.
“Will you be okay?” he asked in such a gentle voice that I almost couldn’t believe what he was being accused of. He held the capacity of both sweetness and violence in him. I couldn’t help but want to be closer to him, but I didn’t want to act like I condone what happened.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. But I wasn’t overly warm to him as we said goodbye. I didn’t want him to be in trouble. I didn’t want things between us ruined again.
Violet ushered me out the back door to the barn — the catering entrance — where Jude Fox had been found by a Year 12 student. I recognized the girl who found her. She was the girl Ella and Katrina had been pushing around. She was sobbing into one of her friend’s arms. Jude looked horrible lying in the stretcher. There was blood soaking through his white shirt. Lots of it.
“Where’s Freddie?” I asked.
“She skirted around the barn to follow Crispin to the station.”
“Do you think Crispin actually did this?”
“He couldn’t have. I don’t think. Weren’t you with him?” Violet asked.
I last saw Crispin talking to Freddie and then Jude shows up stabbed. I couldn’t account for Crispin’s every move. I wished that I had proof he was by my side the entire time but… I didn’t. And I couldn’t lie to Violet after she was sacrificing Jack Dyson to Katrina’s wily tendrils.
“Not the entire night,” I confessed. “I was just outside dealing with a very drunk Devin and talking to Trevor.”
Violet wrinkled her nose. “Ew.”
“Yeah. Devin might still be out there. It’s cold. Someone should get him.”
Violet sharply appointed a nearby Year 12 for the task. The girl grabbed two of her friends — Year 12 boys on the rowing team — and ushered them around the corner toward the front of the barn. Violet pointed to the spot on the ground where the Year 12 girl found Jude. There were signs of a struggle in the grass. I wasn’t a crime scene expert or anything, the ground was just that fucked up. It looked like people had been fighting. There was blood, a broken liquor bottle and what looked like a glove in the grass next to where Jude had been found.
Violet continued explaining. “His shirt was bloody and he was unconscious. There were two small bottles of gin next to him and his phone.”
I sighed. “Crispin’s the obvious suspect.”
“Or Freddie,” Violet said.
“Right.”
“But Freddie has an airtight alibi,” Violet said. “And you wouldn’t believe who it is.”
“Really? Gossip?” I said, pretending not to be interested, but really dying inside to know who the hell Freddie’s airtight alibi was.
Violet smirked at me knowingly. “She was hooking up with Sarah G. Apparently they’ve been flirting in physics class.”
“Shut up… Sarah?”
“I thought you knew she liked girls.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know she liked Freddie.”
“I think they would be adorable together,” Vi said. “Sarah’s like totally sporty. Freddie’s a bit goth. It’s sweet.”
“Unless they planned a murder together,” I said, glancing at the spot where Jude had just been found. Violet shook her head.
“It wasn’t them. And he’s not dead. Yet.”
“Crispin claims he’s innocent,” I said.
Violet put her arm around me comfortingly. It actually worked. She was super warm and I felt cold from too much running around outside.
“For the first time, you don’t sound like you believe him,” Vi said.
“It’s not that I don’t trust him. I just don’t trust him around Jude after everything that happened.”
Confessing my true feelings to Violet didn’t make me feel any better. It just felt worse to acknowledge my fears about our relationship. I wanted everything to go back to being perfect, but that just wasn’t how second chances worked.
“Freddie doesn’t think it was him,” Violet said. “If that helps.”
“Freddie also thinks Jude is a nice guy,” I muttered glumly, although the proclamation might have been too harsh to launch against a guy who had just been stabbed. We technically didn’t even know if Jude would survive.
Violet sighed, pulling her emotions together and preparing to take responsibility for the situation.
“Well. We’d better get this party broken up.”
“That shouldn’t be hard,” I grumbled. “Do you think it was a success?”
“Your boyfriend got arrested at his surprise goodbye party after we already planned two surprise arrests… I feel like everyone is going to talk about this for ages.”
“How is boarding school real,” I muttered.
Vi wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.
“Dunno. Let’s go handle things, girl boss.”
We had to speak to cops and paramedics before we “handled things”. Jack spoke to the caterers and party staff, offering to pay them extra for the trouble of the night, an agreement that the company happily obliged. He was stepping up to take responsibility for everything else too.
Clearing our classmates off the dance floor had been the biggest challenge. One of Jude’s dumb football friends involved in the Freddie situation had commandeered the DJ station and it took Violet walloping him with a spatula from the catering table to cause the Year 12s to scatter. Trevor had Devin in a corner of the barn and he was working with one of the paramedics to get the dumb redhead sober enough to at least get a ride back to campus.
By the time we’d cleared up the party, Crispin must’ve been at the station for three or four hours. If he hadn’t stabbed Jude, why the hell had he been kept there so long? I pulled my phone out to text him and saw a message from about an hour before. Oh. I guess he wasn’t at the station after all.
Crispin: I’m out. At the cottage with Christian. See you there?
I showed it to Violet and she immediately chartered Jack Dyson to drive me to Crispin.
“You need to find out what’s going on with him.”
I agreed. Jack was surprisingly jovial on the drive over. He told me a long-winded story about his football team in high school and the time they brought a cow into the gymnasium as a prank. He went on a diverse sidetrack about the type of cow it was and the different types of cows he knew about because of this farm in Oxford his parents owned. Then he talked about midnight feasts at his junior boarding school for another ten minutes before giving me a reassuring pep talk.
“I don’t think he did it but… if he did… at least this time Jude deserved it.”
I wanted to argue that there was a strong case to be made that Jude deserved it too, but I held my tongue. Remembering that Crispin had stabbed Devin didn’t exactly add credence to his innocence. If he was so serious about being a freaking dad, he couldn’t go around stabbing people. It didn’t matter if it was Devin, Jude or anyone who deserved it. Christian deserved a father who could stay out of prison.
Jack pulled around to the front of the cottage and offered me one of his tangerines, closing my palm around it when I desperately tried to refuse his offer.
“You might need this. As a weapon. Or food.”
I knocked on the door to the cottage and Jack watched me disappear inside before revving his Jaguar and zooming away blasting Mariah Carey on the stereo. She was his “guilty pleasure” listen he thought no one knew about, but we all did.
Crispin met me at the door with sleeping Christian on his shoulder and a little blanket thrown over the baby’s head. He loomed in the doorway like a hulking giant, looking so large compared to tiny Christian.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Sorry I didn’t pick you up. I ran out of time with my nannies.”
“It’s fine. I was totally busy.”
“Come in, darling.”
Crispin was still unreadably calm. Once the door closed behind us, I had to be up front and just ask him.
“So. Did you freaking stab Jude Fox?”
Crispin turned around and smiled at me, which totally wasn’t an answer.
Chapter 38
“Darling, I didn’t stab Jude Fox. Relax. I’m a father. I’m perfectly aware that I can’t go around stabbing people. I ditched my plans to tie Freddie up and drop her off in Istanbul. I’m responsible now.”
He didn’t explain this “alibi”, but the police had allowed him to leave, which was evidence I couldn’t argue with.
Still, Crispin sounded a little too haughty for my tastes. How could he blame me for thinking he stabbed someone when he’d done it before and he never made it a secret when he loathed someone? Unfortunately, I now also had to lecture him about his evil plan to kidnap Freddie and drop her off in Istanbul.
“You would do that to your twin sister?”
“Orchestrate a fake kidnapping costing me tens of thousands of pounds to punish her for taking football away? Yes. I would have. In the past. I’m totally mature now. I think. I hope. I mean… We’re still seeing where it’s going.”
“That’s reassuring,” I grumbled, only about 30% reassured.
“Come on. The nannies put Christian to bed hours ago. We can hang.”
“Hang? Tonight was a mess. I’m exhausted.”
“Fine. You can fall asleep on my chest. It’s been a while since you’ve done that.”
“Technically, I’ll be in trouble if I don’t head back to campus,” I reminded him.
Crispin was no longer beholden to the school rules, but I still had to follow them. Crispin, naturally, was unencumbered by my need to follow the rules. He held Christian with one arm and put his other arm around me. I wanted it to feel good, but all I could think about was how we weren’t really a family. Crispin and Christian were family, and I was just the weird outsider again like I’d been with the Hewetts.
“Have Freddie cover for you,” Crispin murmured, pulling me closer. “Come on.”
Ugh… Crispin. Despite my pang of insecurity, I couldn’t say no to him. I was too tired after our adventurous night to argue with the tall white boy. I dragged my exhausted body to Christian’s nursery to peek in on him before we retired to bed.
“He’s really brown,” Crispin whispered. “Do you think our baby will be brown?”
Our baby. I guess Crispin still wanted a baby. Another baby. With me. I couldn’t tell how it made me feel, but I knew I wanted to be close to Crispin and to figure it out with him.
“Well, I don’t know how our baby could be pale…” I whispered.
“Sorry,” Crispin said. “Sensitive subject, I suppose.”
“No,” I whispered. I didn’t mind talking about a baby right now. Over the summer, everything had been different. I’d just come through the fresh raw pain and now that I was here with Crispin and I saw him with Christian, my heart changed. There was still a part of me that feared talking about the future, especially about family. I’d been through hell with mine. I didn’t think my problems with my family were over either — at least not with Frances roaming around England dating my enemy’s brother.
But Crispin… we’d been through a lot together. We’d tried being apart, but that hadn’t worked either. If Crispin could look toward our future and away from our past, I at least owed him the same. He’d been my peer support this semester as much as I had been his. Still, I didn’t want everything to change too much.
Crispin slipped his hand into mine and after a few minutes of staring at Christian’s sleeping chest rising and falling, Crispin took me to the living room. He had baby monitors everywhere and his books were scattered all over the living room table. At least I knew he was serious about studying, which was more than I could say for myself. If Violet wasn’t constantly threatening me, I didn’t know if I would be studying much at all.
My boyfriend sat on the couch, spreading his legs wide, which he normally had to do to fit in chairs because of his height. I scrambled close to him and rested my head against his chest. Crispin’s fingers sank into my hair instantly.
