The fighter an mm romanc.., p.22
The Fighter: An MM Romance, page 22
I leaned back on his thighs. “Tenth floor apartment. Stocked kitchen. Games for Holden. Amenities for Amara.”
“Wh-when?”
“Since this afternoon.”
He seemed a little shocky. His pupils were dilated, and his breathing was irregular. “You should have woken me up.”
I hung my head and slowly rose to my feet. He remained on the ground spread out like a starfish, staring at me. “I know. I’m sorry.” His gaze followed me as I grabbed a water from the small fridge and returned to his side. “Sit up for me.”
He did, and I helped him brace against the wall while I uncapped the water and held it to his lips to drink. I knew he was starting to come back to himself when he made a face, snatched the bottle out of my hand, and chugged half of it down. He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “Does she know?”
“She knows nothing.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “She, uh, she might still be asleep.”
His eyes narrowed. “Asleep?”
“She was unsurprisingly not willing to be taken into a dark SUV by six men she didn’t know.”
He tensed. “Did they hurt her?”
I winced. “Drugged her. For her own safety. She would have gotten hurt fighting them. But it had to be done. We couldn’t waste time and potentially let Devlin get her first.”
He cursed. “Holden?”
“My latest report was that he was putting together a LEGO set with Ben.”
Tav’s eyes closed, and his head dropped. “This is fucking surreal.”
“You know we have to tell her, right?”
He met my gaze, eyes alert now. Focused. “It’s my decision how much to tell her.”
“Tav—”
“It’ll destroy her.”
“You don’t have to be a martyr anymore, Tav.”
He huffed a dark laugh. “That’s a little rich coming from you.”
Ouch. “We’re not talking about me.” He looked away, jaw clenched. “I won’t tell you what to do. I told you before that I have no desire to control you or your life, other than to keep you safe and happy. But I also won’t hesitate to tell you what I think.” I took a deep breath before I said my parting shot. “You finally looked in the mirror, and now it’s time to look your sister in the face.” I rose to my feet, feeling unsteady. I needed to eat something. It’d been hours.
When I reached the door of the gym, Tav’s voice brought me up short. “Con.” I turned to find him on his feet, looking more like himself. “Where’re you going?”
“To visit your sister.” His eyes went wide, and he opened his mouth, likely to protest, but I held up a hand to stop him. “I’m the one who had her drugged and kidnapped with her four-year-old. Those are my men watching her. I owe her an explanation so that when you come talk to her, you can focus on you and her only.”
His eyes shifted between mine. Back and forth. Before he nodded tightly. “Fine.” His fingers twitched, and then he strode toward me and grabbed my hips. He pressed a hard kiss to my lips, nearly bruising, before touching our foreheads together. “I’m mad at you, but I’m also thankful. So thankful.”
I suddenly felt a little stronger. More sure. “You can feel however you like. Just don’t leave me.”
A smile ghosted his lips and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Too late. I’m your parasite now.”
I’d let him bleed me dry.
TWENTY-FOUR
Conrad
I stood outside the apartment on the tenth floor. Inside, I could hear the raised voice of a pissed-off woman.
I inhaled and exhaled and straightened the lapels of my suit, which I’d donned like armor. I’d faced off against evil like Devlin, and yet the thought of looking Tav’s sister in the eye made the sweat bead at my temples. Nik stood at my back, and while I knew I had to face this myself, his presence helped calm my nerves.
My guilt was ever-present, coating me with a slimy film that I couldn’t seem to rinse off no matter how much I scrubbed. If I’d been able to control Devlin all those years ago, this never would have happened. Tav would be some famous fighter, and his sister would be his biggest fan. Not this fucked up situation they were in now.
I rapped at the door, and it swung open immediately to reveal the head of Nik’s small crew of our most trusted men. Cameron nodded at me and then flinched as the female voice which had been at a lower register rose to a screech. “—and now what?”
I patted his shoulder, and he stepped aside for me to pass him. I strode into the apartment, Nik following closely behind.
Amara stood in the center of the apartment, Holden on her hip. She’d been taken right after she had left work and picked up Holden from preschool, so she still wore a pair of black pants and a white dress shirt. I’d had the apartment stocked with clothes for her to change into. A quick glance down the hall into the bedroom showed me exactly what she thought of those clothes, as they were thrown all over the floor and bed.
Her hair was a dark mass of tangles, and her face was flushed with anger. Her eyes, both the same color as Tav’s green one, shone fever-bright with myriad emotions that ranged from rage to fear. Behind her, Ben stood next to a half-constructed LEGO set. Four of my men stood in separate corners of her apartment as guard.
Holden clutched his mother, eyes wet and little chin wobbling. He shook, and Amara closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and then hugged him to her chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I yelled. Everything’s fine.” Her voice shook as she repeated. “Everything’s fine.”
But her eyes snapped open to land on me, and fury blazed there. She gently lowered her son and then pushed him to stand behind her. She angled her body so that she faced all the men in the room, her son behind her, like an elephant mother protecting its young from a pack of lions.
I respected her immediately.
The resemblance to Tav was there in the dark wavy hair, the high cheekbones, and full lips. She was curvy, with an ample chest and wide hips. Barefoot, she stood maybe five-four.
Ben stepped forward. “She, uh, woke up about fifteen minutes ago.” He gestured at her. “It’s been like this since.”
“Because you fucking abducted me, you dick.” She spat at him. Then, as if remembering her son, she turned around and brushed Holden’s cheek, her voice softening immediately. “Sorry, baby. I’ll add to the swear jar when we get back. Mommy’s sorry.”
“Milkshakes,” Holden’s little voice said. I couldn’t see him from behind her body. “Lots of dollars for milkshakes.”
“Of course.” She cooed at him, even as her voice trembled. “So many milkshakes, baby.”
Right, it was time for me talk. I stepped forward, and she tensed, hands behind her to protect her son. My mother had never, ever, not once apologized for swearing or done a damn thing to protect me from the predators who lurked in White Hill trailer park.
“I’m Conrad Stafford,” I said. “You’re here on my orders.” She stared at me as her chest shuddered with scared breaths. “And that’s because Devlin Walsh is currently searching this city top to bottom for you.” Her body language didn’t change at the mention of Devlin’s name. “And trust me when I say that you do not want him to find you. I ordered my men to bring you here to keep you safe. I know they drugged you, and I’m not sorry for that, because you would have hurt yourself fighting. I don’t want you or your son hurt in any way.”
A muscle in her jaw ticked. “Look, I don’t know who the fuck you are, or who the fuck you think you are, but—”
“Your brother.” I cut her off, and at those two words her entire body jerked, and pain so vivid lanced across her face that I nearly felt it in my own soul. “Your brother is why I’m here.”
Her arms fell limply to her side, and Holden’s little face peeked around her hip. He looked so much like his mom. Like his uncle. Amara blinked. Swallowed. “Tavin?” Her voice was soft, and I couldn’t read her tone.
“Tavin,” I answered.
She shook her head, and her features sharpened again. “Look, I haven’t spoken to my brother in five years, and I don’t know what kind of trouble he’s in, but it has nothing to do with me or my son.”
Oh, it had everything to do with her, but that was Tav’s business to tell her.
I clenched my jaw, feeling anger toward this woman even though it wasn’t justified, not really. She had no idea how many lies she’d been fed. She had no idea that I had a part in setting this entire thing in motion so many years ago. The guilt tasted sour on my tongue. All I could do now was protect Tav. “I need to be very clear about something.” I took a step forward, and she must have sensed the change in the room, because her jaw snapped shut, and she lost some of her bravado. “You are not my sister. You are not my blood. But you’re his, and he wants you safe. Since that’s what he wants, I’ll sell my soul to do it. Because your brother means everything to me.”
I took another step closer, close enough that I could hear the rasping of her breath and feel the heat from her flushed skin.
“He’s going to be here soon, and you two will talk.” I held up a finger to make my point crystal. “Do not hurt him. Do not crush him. You will treat him with respect and like the man he is who has risked everything for his family.”
I wanted to threaten her. I wanted to tell her if she said one wrong word to Tav that I’d throw her out of his apartment so fast that her head would spin. But I didn’t. I held my tongue.
Her eyes were massive green orbs in her pale face. Her long eyelashes blinked once. Twice. And then she did something that nearly sent me to my knees. Just like her brother, her lips moved, and she mouthed the word family.
A knock came at the door. Her eyes darted there, and she stared at it as if Pennywise was about to burst through. I propped my hands on my hips, leaned back to stare at the ceiling, and hoped like hell this entire night didn’t break Tav irreparably.
Tav
I stood outside the apartment. Amara was inside. Holden was inside. Con was inside. And I stood at the door as sweat rolled down my back while half a dozen men who I didn’t know lurked in the hallway wearing expensive suits and gun holsters.
I caught a few looking at me out of the corners of their eyes, then quickly looking away when I caught them. Con was their boss, and they were probably trying to figure out what the fuck he was doing with my scruffy ass. After Con had left the apartment to speak to Amara first, I’d spent about ten minutes freaking out before I got a shower, pulled on a decent pair of jeans that Con had ordered for me and a plain T-shirt with a pair of new sneakers—another Con purchase.
I rubbed my damp palms on my jeans and waited for someone to answer the door. It finally swung open. Inside, Nik took one look at me, nodded in a gesture of what I took as support, and swung the door open wider. I stepped inside and stopped. My gaze swept through the apartment, passing over where Con stood, hands on his hips, watching me, past a few men in suits along with Ben, and then to my sister.
She stared at me like I was a ghost. Her eyes were impossibly wide, her mouth open in shock. Holden was at her side, clinging to her leg, his head cocked like he was trying to figure me out. He wore a pair of brown sweatpants and a green dinosaur sweatshirt.
Stegosauruseses ated plants.
“Everyone out,” Con said in a commanding tone.
“But I—” Ben began.
“You too,” Con glared at him before pointing at Nik. “And you.”
Nik’s eyebrows went up, and he pointed at his chest, mouthing me? But Ben was already walking past, and he grabbed Nik’s arm before practically dragging him out the door. It shut behind them and the rest of the men, leaving us in silence.
Amara still hadn’t said a word, still staring at me like she had no idea who I was. I didn’t know what to say. What to do. Where to put my hands. How to fix my face. This was a scenario I hadn’t ever pictured. I figured I’d die in a filthy boxing ring to the cheer of a crowd before I ever had to face my sister again.
Con’s face swam into my vision. I didn’t even notice he’d walked toward me. He palmed the side of my face, thumb brushing my cheekbone. “Do you want me to stay?”
I didn’t know how to answer. Did I want him here to witness my shame? Did I need his support?
His voice was soft and gentle. “How about I take Holden into the bedroom, and we can make a game of folding all the clothes in there?” I didn’t understand what he meant about folding clothes. He glanced over his shoulder at Amara. “Would that be okay with you?” His voice lifted a note as he addressed Holden. “Want some snacks?”
Holden gave a little hop toward Con, easily swayed by the promise of food. Amara snatched at his shoulder, drawing him to a stop. She stared at Con. He stared back. Something passed between them, some sort of agreement, because then her fingers slowly uncurled from Holden’s shoulder one by one. “Go on, baby.” Her voice shook. “Be good.”
I didn’t speak, not as Con retreated to the kitchen and conversed in low tones with Holden. Not as they passed back through the living room with an entire bowl of junk food. I didn’t say a word as the bedroom door clicked shut, leaving Amara and I in stunned silence.
I still hadn’t decided what I’d say to her. Not a clue. Right now, all I could do was bask in her presence. Despite her obvious distress right now, she looked healthy, like she ate well. Like she exercised. Like she used the same fancy face creams Con did.
Fuck, I was nervous, and so the only thing I managed to say was, “Hello.”
Her eyes shifted over me, from the top of my head, lingering on my face, down my chest, my legs and to my feet before lifting back up. I waited for her to yell, to scream, to tell me what a piece of shit I was, but then her lips trembled. Her eyes glistened, and she said a word I never thought I’d hear from her ever again. “Tavin.”
I nearly fell to my knees. “Amara, I—I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She shook her head and spread out her hands to gesture vaguely at the situation. “What is this?”
She wasn’t yelling. She was confused. Scared. And she was looking to me, her big brother, for help in the same way she used to when we were kids when she fell off her bike or got a bad grade.
“Do you want to sit down?” I pointed to the small kitchen table.
She shuffled to the side, still staring at me, until she felt the back of the chair at her fingertips. She sank down, and I grabbed two water bottles out of the fridge before sitting down across from her. I slid a bottle in front of her, and she didn’t even look at it. I opened mine and guzzled it. My hands shook. Water splashed my cheek. I brushed it on my shoulder and felt my face heat.
Her gaze was on my hands. My scarred knuckles. I curled them into fists and dropped them into my lap out of sight.
“This is—” I began and then stopped. “Fuck, I don’t know where to start.”
“Who is that man alone in a bedroom with my son?” Her voice held a bit of a snap to it, and I almost smiled, because that was the Amara I knew.
“That’s Con, he’s…” How did I describe him? “My boyfriend.” There, that felt not sufficient but a good label that Amara would understand. I came out to her when I was twelve, so it wasn’t a surprise I’d be with a man now. “He’s safe.”
“He’s intense,” she said, her tone almost chastising, like a parent who didn’t approve. “How the hell did you meet him?”
I felt relief that I could answer this honestly, and it wasn’t fucking weird. “A bar.”
“Okay,” she drew the word out. “He said Devlin is searching for me. Why is that?”
This wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t wait for her to ask me questions and then have her put the puzzle pieces together. I had to just get out the whole story. And to do that, I had to tell her about Dennis, and I had to break her heart. I hadn’t planned to do this, not ever. And I hadn’t made the decision until right now, when she was in front of me. But Con was right, and she deserved to know the whole truth.
I spun the water bottle in my hands and watched the liquid slosh around. “I need to start from the beginning, but it’s going to hurt, Amara. It’s going to hurt you and me. But it’s the truth.” I looked up to see her squinting at my inner arms. Studying them.
I angled them toward her so she could get a better look, and her eyes met mine. “Devlin told me you’re a junkie. I don’t see track marks or scars.”
“Yeah, because I never took drugs, Mar.” I fell back into my nickname for her so easily, and my voice snapped out with more anger than I intended. “You think I’d do that after knowing how Mom died? Really?”
Her eyes blazed. “He said you killed Dennis. Is that not—”
“Oh no, I killed that fucker.”
She made a wounded sound, like her chest had caved in, and the hatred I had expected from her now shone like a beacon in her green eyes. She ground her jaw. “I’ll never forgive—”
I slammed the water bottle on the table. “He was going to kill you, Mar. He was going to kill you, and that baby in your belly, because he was a piece of shit. I heard him planning it, and so when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it.” I leaned forward and gritted out, “I didn’t mean to kill him, but in that moment, it was him or me. And I’m not sorry. I’d do it again, because you’re alive and so is Holden.” She went so still that I thought she stopped breathing. But I couldn’t stop now. The ugly purge had begun, and I had to get all the poison out. “I didn’t want to tell you that the father of your kid planned to kill you. I would have gone to jail with that secret, but Devlin found me first. He held me for a week—” I didn’t tell her about the torture, the starvation, the psychological warfare he’d inflicted on me. “He took the pictures of the needle in my arm that he sent you, but they were fake. And then he told me if I didn’t work for him with no contact with you, he’d kill you and Holden. So I did whatever he wanted me to do, and that was the way I planned to keep on living, with you and Holden safe and me paying for what I did until one of the shitty jobs killed me.” I heaved a breath, staring at a stain on the table as I vomited out all the words. “But then Con came along, and it got all fucked up because he won’t let Devlin control me anymore. But to do that, he has to keep you safe, because I won’t accept anything else.” I spread my hands on the table, palms up. “So there you go. That’s it. That’s why you’re here.”
