Second chance summer, p.20
Second Chance Summer, page 20
‘She was annoyed because she thought I was taking over, at the retreat and the craft fair … I think it was the last straw when she saw me in her own home too.’
He closed his eyes briefly. ‘I didn’t realise she was that upset. I should have realised.’
‘I think she may not even recognise how upset she is herself,’ Lily said gently.
Elspeth sat down heavily on the oak bench in the hall. ‘This is Nate’s fault.’
‘No, it’s mine, for not listening or seeing the signs. If anything has happened to her or she’s done anything …’ Sam said ‘… I’ll never forgive myself as long as I live. I have to tell Nate and now.’
He marched off to the study.
Elspeth leaned back against the wall. ‘I won’t forgive myself either. I should have realised the state she was in. I know she can be awkward but it’s out of character for her to do something so daft as trying to scare you off Stark – or take the risk of going over there without Sam.’
Lily heard him speaking from the study. She could hear another male voice, taut with anguish, and an American woman shouting, ‘Nate? What the actual fuck has she done now?’
‘We don’t know she has yet,’ Lily said, ‘I just have a hunch. If she wanted to hide away from us, for whatever reason, there aren’t many places she could go without money.’
The door to the study slammed shut, but they could still hear raised voices.
Elspeth sighed. ‘And now Sam and Nate are at each other’s throats. This is a disaster.’
Lily sat down next to her and patted her hand. ‘While we’re waiting for Sam, why don’t we have a think about other places Morven might have gone to – we can make a list and check those as well as Stark?’ She hoped to distract Elspeth by focusing on practical things they could do.
‘She could have got to one of the other islands … Although the passenger boats were finished by dinnertime and she must have left long after that.’
‘She’d have had to have help, then?’ Lily offered.
‘That’s what bothers me! If she isn’t around Hell Bay or on Bryher, how did she get across the water? If she even made it …’ Elspeth was now in tears.
Lily pulled a tissue from a box by the phone and offered it to her. ‘I’m sure she’ll be alright,’ she said, comforting Elspeth. ‘She seems very resourceful and smart to me.’
A couple of minutes later, Sam marched out of the study.
Elspeth pushed herself to her feet. ‘Oh, Lord, what did Nate say?’
‘He’d almost gone to bed and was in pieces when he heard. I almost wish I hadn’t FaceTimed him and seen the look on his face. I’ve never seen him so scared, but what could I do? Not tell him for hours until we find her – if we find her?’ Sam stopped speaking, frozen with anguish.
‘We will find her. And you had to tell him,’ Lily said firmly. ‘And we – I – had a thought. Do you think Morven could be on Stark right now? Even if she hasn’t been messing around on there, she might have gone now as she knows it so well. Maybe she thought she might stay in one of the cottages.’
Sam looked thoughtful. ‘That’s possible. She does have a key … I had one cut when she was going to help me with the changeovers. I don’t think I ever had it back.’
‘That’s where she’ll be then!’ Elspeth said. ‘Hiding in one of the cottages!’ She seemed so relieved, Lily hoped this was right.
‘We don’t know that for sure, Auntie Elspeth,’ Sam said gently. ‘But it’s worth a look. While we drive to the quay, can you call around a few mates?’ he said to Lily and his aunt. ‘The rowing crew will help. I’ll give you the numbers from my phone. Ask them to help in the search.’
‘Shall we ask one of them to stay on Bryher and phone the heliport and ferry terminal?’ Lily suggested. ‘And send a few more to hunt around Bryher itself and spread the word among the islanders?’
‘Yes. Good idea.’ He flared into action again. ‘Meanwhile we’ll go over to Stark. Elspeth, what do you want to do? Come with us or stay?’
‘Come with you,’ she declared. ‘I’m with Lily, I think Morven’s on Stark.’
‘I agree with you both …’ Sam said, adding with renewed energy, ‘and if she is still on the islands, and I think she has to be, we’ll find her.’
Half an hour later, most of the rowing crew and a dozen other islanders had gathered at the quayside with Sam, Lily and Elspeth. Word had spread like wildfire. Bruce was coordinating the wider search effort on Bryher. Rory took the gig crew in his boat while Sam motored off in the Hydra with Elspeth and Lily.
The boat thumped over the waves, water flying up, wipers swishing wildly. The rain was horizontal and the wind whipped up whitecaps. It was a horrible day to be outdoors.
Elspeth huddled in a corner of the cabin, holding on tight to the seat. Lily sat next to Sam, trying to ignore the jagged rocks lurking on every side.
Sam slotted the boat into the little harbour at Stark, cut the engine and leaped ashore. Ignoring the driving rain, Lily hitched the rope around the bow cleat. ‘What about the others?’
‘Rory’s moored offshore and launched his RIB. He’s brought his own radio and a spare for the search party.’
‘She could be in reception or your flat,’ Elspeth said, rushing up the path from the jetty like a woman half her age.
Penny arrived not long after, rain dripping off her yellow waterproof.
‘The others are on the quay but I thought I might be able to help up here. Make tea, run errands …’ she said.
‘Thanks, Penny.’
The moment Sam tried the door of the reception hub, it was clear Morven wasn’t there.
‘It was still locked,’ he said, walking inside. ‘Come on, let’s check the cottages. Elspeth, would you and Penny mind staying here on the radio, please, in case she turns up on another island? We’ll only be a minute.
‘I don’t want my aunt out in this weather,’ he said to Lily, who wondered if Sam was also worried in case they did find Morven – and not safe and well.
She shuddered at the prospect and crossed everything that nothing like that would happen. She dreaded him having to go through what she had when they’d lost Cara. However, thinking the worst would help no one, so Lily focused on the search.
Even as they approached Cowrie, her hopes faded. It looked as shut up and unoccupied as when she’d left it. The moment she tried the door, her fear was confirmed.
‘I suppose she might have been inside and left,’ Sam said while Lily unlocked it.
‘Morven!’ she called, inching open the door, longing to find the girl asleep on the bed, hair spread over the pillow, like Sleeping Beauty. ‘Are you here? It’s OK … you’re not in trouble.’
There was only silence and the stuffiness of a room that had been shut up for a day.
‘Is she here?’ Sam marched in behind her.
‘No one’s been in since we left.’
‘Nor the other cottages. As far as I can tell, everything looks the same.’
It was clear that no one had been inside the unfinished cottages and Aaron reported no sign of Morven or anyone else around the retreat area in general.
Sam despatched Fergal, Aaron and Ivanka to search the island’s coastline. Lily grew cold when he mentioned the numerous indentations, sea caves and cliffs.
‘I didn’t want my aunt to hear that,’ he said just before they went back into reception.
Elspeth was sitting on a sofa, looking exhausted and grey-faced.
At Sam’s appearance, she burst out: ‘Is she here?’
‘I’m afraid there’s no sign of her in any of the cottages.’
Elspeth let out a sob.
Penny was next to her, patting her arm. ‘It’ll be OK, Elspeth. We’ll find her.’
‘We will, I promise,’ Lily said, before she left, armed with one of Sam’s spare handsets.
‘I’m going to check the ruined cottages by the bay. There are a couple of Neolithic chambers hidden in the bracken. She could be hiding in there,’ said Sam.
‘Chambers?’ Lily shuddered, hoping he didn’t mean tombs.
‘Elspeth mentioned them. Morven takes an interest in the ancient history of the islands so I’d better check just in case.’
‘I’ll do the pest house then,’ Lily said, suppressing a shiver as the rain hammered down like stair rods.
‘OK. Lily …’ he said, touching her arm gently ‘… thank you. You didn’t ask for all this grief when you decided to come here.’
‘Thank me when I find her,’ she said, with more conviction than she felt inside.
Lily pushed the radio deep into the pocket of her waterproof and scrambled down the hill as fast as she could without tripping over hummocks and brambles. The pest house was a grey blur through the rain. Part of her couldn’t imagine anything awful happening in such a peaceful spot as Stark, yet this place had been built for death … how horrible!
She moved carefully as the paths were muddy. Occasionally, the shouts of the others drifted to her on the wind. If Morven was hiding out, she must be petrified, being hunted like prey. Unless she was enjoying all the drama. Lily fervently hoped it was the latter.
She stopped a few metres away from the pest house, listening for any sound. A shiver ran through her at the prospect of what she might find. If Morven had been here all night, even though it was mild, it was slippery and wet … what if she’d tripped and hurt herself?
Or what if she wasn’t here – or hadn’t even made it, trying to pilot a boat alone? What if she was under the cold sea, like Lily had been?
‘Morven!’
Her desperate shout echoed off the walls but was met with silence.
‘Morven! It’s Lily. I know you don’t want to be found but people are worried.’
She lingered outside the pest house, listening for any hint of another human presence: the rain was almost horizontal, soaking her face. Her legs were red and cold.
Lily shouted again in frustration: ‘Morven, for God’s sake, if you can hear me, will you come out before I die of hypothermia?’
A snort came from the interior of the house.
‘It’s always about you, isn’t it?’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
A bedraggled figure appeared in the open doorway. ‘You’d better come in.’
Resisting the urge to shout in relief, Lily stepped over the broken stone in the threshold of the building. Morven retreated to the shelter of the stone hearth where there was also a camping stove, a sleeping bag, a metal mug and an empty Pot Noodle tub.
‘Don’t say you slept here last night?’ Lily said.
‘’Course I did! I’ve stayed on Stark before.’
‘On your own?’
‘With Damon. And no, there’s nothing going on between us. Not like that. We’re both seventeen so we could do whatever we wanted to, if we wanted to, but – and not that it’s any of your business – Damon is gay.’ Morven rolled her eyes. ‘He’s in the closet at home so don’t tell anyone, but all his friends know. He can’t wait to get to college.’
Lily let this outpouring settle. ‘It’s none of my business.’
Morven scoffed, ‘You could have fooled me. You’re out here hounding me.’
‘I’m not hounding you. I’m here because I care what happens to you.’
Morven laughed and Lily braced herself for another tirade but instead the girl said: ‘You’d better come under here before you get too wet. The roof’s barely there.’
‘I don’t think I could possibly get any wetter, but thank you.’
Morven sat down, knees tucked to her chest, under the hearth. With some difficulty, Lily squeezed in at the opposite side, relieved to be out of the rain – and ecstatic to have found Morven safe and well.
‘You’re going to tell Sam and Auntie Elspeth where I am, aren’t you?’
‘I don’t have a choice. They’re going out of their minds with worry.’
‘Yeah …’
Lily thought of the radio in her pocket and went to pull it out.
Morven shrieked, ‘Don’t call them or I’ll run away!’
Yet she couldn’t go anywhere, Lily thought, but saw the panicked terror in Morven’s face and kept her hands in view.
‘OK, I’ll hold off calling for a minute, but I have to let them know you’re safe. They’re so worried.’
‘Just a minute more,’ Morven said, her voice pleading.
‘How did you get over here?’ Lily asked.
‘Damon brought me in his brother’s boat before dawn. I met him at the quayside. His brother didn’t realise I hadn’t told anyone I was coming.’
Lily resisted the urge to scream. ‘That sounds dangerous.’
‘Not for us! Damon was practically born in a boat. I could pilot an RIB over here if I had my own. Sam won’t let me use the Hydra or even practise. He says he’s afraid something will happen to me. It won’t. This proves it.’
‘Yeah. I can see that. But why didn’t you stay in one of the cottages? Sam said you had a key.’
‘Because I was hiding,’ she said as if Lily was stupid. ‘And it wasn’t raining when I first got here. And anyway, I forgot the key, didn’t I?’
Lily saw the rucksack and camping lantern tucked in a niche under the hearth.
‘Looks like you thought of everything else,’ she said.
‘I did. I can survive without anyone’s help. I might just take off and leave. I’ll hitch, find a job on the mainland or in London. You started without going to uni.’
‘Yes, but,’ Lily said carefully, ‘I had a lot of help and support.’
‘Your parents, you mean?’ Morven said contemptuously, picking up a pebble.
‘Yes, and I’m sure you would too. You must tell Sam – without blaming him – how you feel and what you want to do.’
‘He’s too busy … and that’s the thing!’ She tossed the pebble across the empty room, hitting the far wall. ‘I don’t know what I want to do.’
‘Don’t know, or are worried it’ll all go wrong if you try?’
‘It would.’
‘Why?’ Lily asked. ‘Tell me what the “it” is that would all go wrong?’
Morven shook her head. ‘You’ll laugh.’
‘Morven,’ Lily said patiently, ‘I’m the girl who told her parents I didn’t want to apply for uni. I wanted to run a market stall instead. No one had any idea that it would eventually lead to a successful business.’
‘I do want to go to uni … to Falmouth, to study Fine Art.’
‘Sounds like a great plan. Why can’t you?’
‘Because Dad’s in the States and might drag me back at any moment, if he cares enough. Because someone’s got to pay for it – and I can’t ask Sam or Auntie Elspeth to help … they don’t have the money and I wouldn’t take it from them anyway,’ she said fiercely.
‘OK,’ Lily said, aware that everyone else was getting drenched, frantically searching for Morven – yet also aware that this might be her only chance to find out how the girl really felt. ‘Let’s imagine, let’s say in your wildest dreams, that you could afford it. That it wasn’t a problem.’
Morven hugged her knees, avoiding Lily’s eyes. ‘I – I still couldn’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because – I – because—’ She kicked at an empty Red Bull can. ‘I’m not good enough! That’s why.’
‘OK. You probably won’t believe any of what I’m going to say but I’m not here to blow smoke up your arse.’
Morven laughed.
‘You know I speak plainly. Too plainly sometimes.’
‘Like, yeah!’
‘So, I’ll be honest. I’ve seen your work. Before I even knew who’d created the artwork on the walls of my cottage, I was impressed. Very impressed. You have heaps of talent; your work is original and – affecting. It made me feel something. It has a power born of this landscape.’
Morven still wasn’t looking at her, but she was listening. Listening hard.
‘I would probably stock it at Lily Loves, even now.’
The girl’s head snapped up. ‘Probably?’ she said indignantly.
Lily smiled. ‘Ah, some artistic pride. I like it.’
‘I don’t care if you’d stock it.’
‘That’s fine, but you do care about going to uni. So, you are good enough, more than good enough, and you must follow your dream. There will be a way,’ Lily said, hoping that Sam and Nate would agree. If not, she’d have to intervene. ‘You need to have self-belief and to fight for what you want.’
Morven was silent, drawing in the ashes with one finger.
‘I could try, I guess.’
‘Could?’
‘I will try. Look, I need to tell you something. It was me who was spooking you.’
Lily let out a mock gasp. ‘Really? Who knew?’
‘You might have guessed.’
‘I didn’t. Not until I saw the pebbles. You do have a distinctive style, Morven.’
‘Shit.’ She heaved a dramatic sigh. ‘I’m sorry for scaring you.’
Wow! thought Lily. ‘Can I ask why you did it?’
Morven couldn’t meet her eyes, then muttered, ‘I guess I thought you might be a stuck-up cow, from what I’d read online. And you weren’t very friendly when you first arrived at the quay.’
Ouch, thought Lily, remembering her obsession with the phone and rudeness to Sam afterwards.
‘So, you disliked me and thought you’d spook me?’
‘It wasn’t just that!’ Morven said then swallowed. ‘I suppose I was jealous.’
‘Jealous?’ Lily exclaimed. ‘Why?’
‘Because Sam never has time for me. He never has time for anyone, but all of a sudden, he’s all over you and everything is about you …’
‘I’m his guest,’ Lily said gently. ‘It’s his job to look after his guests.’
‘Sure it is,’ Morven said. ‘And I feel stupid now, but I was worried that you and he were getting too close and you’d take him away and I’d be kicked out and have nowhere to go.’
Morven hugged her knees again and cast her gaze downwards. When she looked up, her eyes were shining with unshed tears.
Lily couldn’t reply for a moment as a lump formed in her throat. Morven was exposed as a scared, lonely, abandoned child. Lily had experienced similar feelings after the business on the web, and again when it had resurfaced. She had a loving family and friends and colleagues who cared, yet she had felt that no one could understand her situation or what she was going through.
