“Come in.” I step back, and they enter. “Lola is still sleeping.” I gaze up the stairs again.

  “That’s fine. Just allow Emily to look around the house, show her outside, and then take her up to Lola when you’re ready. Here’s some information on what she does, how she helps, and I’ll give you a call in twenty-four hours to check on how things are going.”

  “Sure.” She leaves as quickly as she came, and I’m left to stare at the dog at my feet. “Well, have at it, I guess.” The dog grunts and walks away, sniffing her way around the house.

  As I’m watching her, there’s a knock at the door again. I expect the animal to bark, but aside from stopping her investigating to see who it is, she does nothing.

  “When’d you get a dog?” Foster asks as he walks in with Evie.

  “I didn’t,” I reply, taking the bags out of Evie’s hands as Foster goes into the kitchen with his load. “Hey girl, how you doing?”

  Her smile is tentative as she leans in for a kiss on the cheek. “I’m good, Theo. Worried about Lola.”

  “She’s upstairs sleeping now.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, Emily sits at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me. “I’ll be right back,” I tell the couple. “Come on, Em, let’s go see my girl.”

  I know Foster and Evie hear me; I’m sure they've already suspected. I haven’t exactly hidden my feelings for Lola from anyone but Nix. That son of a bitch is likely to break my jaw.

  The attentive dog follows along until we reach my room. As soon as I push the door open, she pads to the bed, sniffing at Lola before gracefully jumping up and laying beside her tormented form.

  Amazed at how quickly Emily immerses herself into Lola’s space, the calm I witness wash over the young woman is miraculous. With both paws and her head resting on Lola’s hip from behind, the animal closes her eyes and gives Lola the comfort she needs.

  Leaving the pair to rest, I head back downstairs to my guests. “Good call on the dog,” Foster says from his spot in the kitchen where he's chopping vegetables on the marble cutting board.

  “Yeah,” I murmur. “She needs more than we can give her right now.” And it fucking kills me.

  “What happened, Theo?” Nearly seven months pregnant, I’m not surprised by the tears in Evie’s eyes as she asks, but Foster damn near faints.

  “Please don’t cry,” he begs his woman, and if I weren’t so worried, I might laugh.

  “She found Sam’s body.” Everyone on the team knew Sam; we’ve met him dozens of times over the years. He was a good but slightly solemn kid. We never knew if it was because we intimidated him or if something deeper was going on. Now we know.

  “Shit,” Foster hisses as he drops some food in a pot.

  Evie’s eyes wander to the stairs, and I know what she wants to do but, she doesn’t. “She wouldn’t want you worrying, Evie, not with sweet pea coming so soon.” She nods her head but reaches for a tissue from the box on the table in front of her.

  “What can we do?” she asks instead.

  “Honestly? I have no idea. Nix and Wes will be here tomorrow. We go to the station after that so she can make a statement. I think putting our team on hold for missions right now might not be a bad idea. She needs someone with her.”

  “She has Codie and me.” Everett’s brows furrow with annoyance at the implication they aren’t good enough.

  “And both of you have babies on the way. You know she won’t put worry or pressure on either one of you.” Her shoulders slump with the realization that what I’m saying is true. Lola is the most selfless person I know, and she would become more tortured if she thought she was causing either woman undue stress.

  “What are you making?” I ask Foster as he drops more food in a pot.

  “Chicken noodle soup.” He stares at me like I’m dumb.

  “Why?”

  “It’s what Ma always makes in times like this.” Evie laughs lightly from her seat.

  “Do you even know how to make that? You just put garlic in there, man.” Gazing down into the pot, I see every vegetable known to man but no chicken.

  “No.”

  “Christ, Chaos, you trying to kill us?” I laugh at his scowl.

  It’s then I see his own concern. “I just wanna help her, man. She’s had too fucking much thrown at her.” All humor fades as we feel the shared pain of Lola’s agony.

  Clapping a hand on his back, I drag him in for a hug. “I know, man, I fucking know.” Releasing him, I step back. “Give her a few days. We’ll have a get-together or something, show her that the support she needs is here no matter what, when, or who.”

  Walking over to Evie, Foster helps her up from her seat. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. Give her our love.”

  “Always.” Closing the door behind them, I head back to the kitchen to clean up Foster’s mess when, a few minutes later, I hear soft steps coming from the front of the house.

  “Kitten.” Her hair is messy, her shirt is crumpled, tears stain her cheeks, and when I say her nickname, her eyes fill again as she pads towards me on hushed feet.

  Embracing her, Emily sits at our feet as her tears pour out once again.

  Lola

  With a solid weight on my side as I slowly wake up, eyes heavy from crying, I’m surprised to see a dog staring at me. “Hello.” I roll to my back. The animal doesn’t move. “Who are you?” She lays a paw on my hand and her head over my heart.

  I’m stunned as I feel an overwhelming sadness envelope my body, and she understands my emotions. I can see it in her eyes as tears fall out of mine. I don’t know where she came from, but her empathy enfolds me in her clutches.

  Wrapping my arms around the beautiful dog’s neck, I bury my face in her snuggly fur. The comfort oozing from her helps me catch my breath as I continue to struggle with accepting what Sam has done. I want to be angry with him for leaving, for giving up, but I can’t find it in me. All I feel is guilt because I didn’t recognize that something was wrong. I didn’t help him in his greatest hour of need, and it’s overwhelming me.

  Letting the animal go, she jumps off the bed and pads to the door, sitting, as I slowly climb from the bed. I’m sure I look a hot mess. My body aches, and all I want to do is crawl back into bed and cry, but I know if I do, I could lose myself for good. Sam wouldn’t want that. He’d be pissed at me if he knew how easily I broke down.

  Then again, he likely didn’t intend for me to be the one to find his lifeless body in the tub.

  “Oh, Sam.” I take a deep breath as I scratch the dog’s ear and begin to head downstairs in search of Theo. Something changed with us today, and if I have to avoid him while trying to grieve my friend, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle that loss too.

  The house is quiet as I reach the landing by his front door. It’s not until I wander into the living room and hear his, “Kitten,” that I notice him in the kitchen.

  His warm eyes, open arms, and understanding have tears drifting free again as I rush into his arms. Closing my eyelids, I rub my face against his chest as I try to gather my control. His steady breathing gives me the strength I need to take a few deep inhales and gather my wits about me.

  “The day I met Sam, he already had this wall built around him, blocking everyone out. He was so…” I have to pause to think of the right word to describe my friend. “Impenetrable. But he was vulnerable, too, you know?”

  “Like your brother.” Theo snorts at the comparison.

  Gazing up at him, I realize he’s right. “Exactly like Nix. He was guarded. I sat at his lunch table every day, and every day, he would stare me down, daring me to do something.” I shake my head, remembering that day. “You guys have always been the standard I held with every boy or man in my life. Friend, boyfriend, acquaintance.”

  “Boyfriend?” he interrupts with a scowl.

  “Boyfriend,” I confirm and step back from him, walking to the table with the dog on my heel. “The day we broke the silence, I stole a fry off his plate. I held his gaze as I put it in my mouth and dared him to say something to me. It took a minute, but he eventually laughed and pushed the entire plate to me.”

  “He was a good kid.” I watch as Theo goes to his fridge and pulls out a container of orange juice.

  “He was the best. I wouldn’t have gotten through all the deployments without him.” After Sam and I became such fast friends, Nix stopped calling on his old service buddies to stay with me when he was gone. Instead, I started staying with Sam. His parents understood and even embraced me. They were the parents I didn’t have as a teenager.

  Coming to the table with two glasses filled with juice, Theo places one in front of me as he sits adjacent to my spot. “Nix worried less about you knowing you had Sam and his family here for you when he couldn’t be.” I nod. I knew, even if he hadn't said that.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him, Theo. He was my rock. When I moved back to Baltimore for school, he threw me an epic party, helped me pack my bags, and, basically, shoved me in the car. When I decided I needed to be around everyone that I loved more than a career I wasn’t even sure I wanted, he came and got me because my car died.”

  “Hey.” Theo reaches for my hands, squeezing once for support. “He’s not the only person you can count on, Lola. You have Nix, the entire team, their girls.” He pauses until I look up at him. “You have me, kitten. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I want to believe him. “Until your next assignment.” A bubble of tension surrounds us at my statement. I don’t mean for it to sound like an accusation or to be a spoiled brat, but they can’t understand how fundamental Sam was to my sanity when they left. It’s why I originally moved to Baltimore for college. I needed to try the whole independent thing, but I didn’t even start the semester before I wanted to come back home.

  I’m not designed to be alone so much. I need people I love around me. Friends, family, I need it all. I realize I have Codie and Everett if, and when, I need them, but they’re both starting families, and their priorities are there, where they should be.

  “Lola.” His soft voice as I try to gather enough strength to put this conversation to bed has me looking down at the dog.

  “Where did she come from?” I ask him instead.

  I can feel his eyes on me before he answers. “Her name is Emily; she’s a grief companion. Here as long as you need her.”

  I nod. “I, uh, I need to go home.” I pluck at the oversized shirt of his that I’m wearing.

  “Christ.” He begins cursing under his breath in what I’m relatively certain is Greek. “Foster and Evie brought some stuff for you.” I see Theo point to a bag by the bookshelf at his front door.

  “Thanks,” I whisper before leaving the room. Scooping up the bag, Emily follows me back upstairs, where I quickly change into new shorts and a tank top. Spying my thick wool socks in the bottom, I slip them on my feet before running a brush through my hair.

  Twisting my out-of-control hair into a quick braid, I brush my teeth and head back downstairs. I feel more human, even if my face is puffy and red from so much crying.

  “Do you…” I choke back the emotion. “Do you know if Sam’s parents were told yet? Does Charlie know?”

  Theo turns from the stove, his chest is still bare, and I’m quickly lost in the map of his muscles, the soft tufts of hair that sprinkle across his torso. The scent of bacon wafts up to my nose, and I walk closer to see what he’s making.

  “They do. I spoke to the detective earlier; they took it pretty hard.” Lowering the temperature on the stove, he showers me with his full attention and folds his arms across his chest.

  Nodding, I feel lightheaded as my body reacts to Theo’s masculinity and the feelings I already have for him. He’s cooked for me plenty of times, but never has he been shirtless while doing so. Nor have we shared a kiss beforehand either.

  “Thank you, Theo.” I’m standing directly in front of him now, trying my best to hide my emotions, but I don’t think it’s working.

  Reaching behind himself, he shuts the burner off before slipping a hand around my neck while the other grasps my hip, holding me in place as his head lowers closer to mine.

  “Anything for you, kitten.” Our lips meet, and I melt in his hold.

  I was terrified the first time was a fluke. That he only did it in comfort. But I’m not having a breakdown this time. I’m here whole-heartedly, and I couldn’t want this moment more if I tried.

  Leaning into him, I place my palms on his warm chest, tiny hands balling into fists as he pulls me closer. Our tongues tangle delicately, and I moan softly in the back of my throat as I feel his hardness digging into my belly.

  He’s not my first kiss, but it’s the first time I’ve had this reaction to a man. And given who it is, it’s not shocking that I’m panting and out of breath within seconds of him retreating from my mouth.

  Brushing his thumb across my swollen lower lip, he gives me a quirky smirk, cocky to his core. Theo knows exactly what he's done to me.

  Theo

  “Broken Girl" by Matthew West

  We ate bacon scrambled eggs, watched reruns of Supernatural on Netflix, and I held Lola every time she cried. I kissed her until we were both breathless, and with each moment, I wanted her more and more.

  This drive to claim her is beating a heavy drum in my gut, telling me it’s time I make her mine. That she’s ready. If only it weren’t such a vulnerable time in her life, I would go full steam ahead.

  Checking the clock on the nightstand, I realize Nix will be here soon. Slipping from bed, I leave Lola covered in every blanket I seem to own, with Emily on the floor at her side, to go put the coffee on. I get the feeling it’s going to be a long-ass day.

  Flipping the porch light on and unlocking the front door on my way to the kitchen, I take in my place through Lola’s eyes. Clean, modern, not quite a bachelor pad but lived in, and I wonder briefly if she’ll want to live here with me or if she’ll want a place that’s just ours. Then I realize I’m getting way ahead of myself. She needs a shit-ton more time before I can even begin thinking about living arrangements.

  Getting the coffee started, I remove four cups from the cupboard and place them on the island along with a plate of frozen pre-cooked bacon in the oven to warm up. Turning on the TV for background noise, I flip to the news station in time to learn about another bombing in Ukraine. Dozens of civilians are dead. Mass amounts of injured are in the hospital, and more have gone missing.

  Sometimes, I wonder if the world is going to self-implode before my team can make a significant difference. I’ve been part of Task Force 779 for nearly seven years now, and I believe in the work we do, that the lives we save are worth it. But when I see shit like this, I contemplate the point of it all. People kill people under the guise of believing that their knowledge and power are superior to others and will do whatever it takes to come out on top.

  We live in a world of psychopaths with no direction and no sign of peace in sight.

  “Hey,” Weston Green’s gravelly voice calls from the front door as he and Nix walk in. “You lost over there or what?”

  “How was Brazil?” I stride towards them and shake both their hands before being dragged in for a hug by Nix.

  “Thanks for taking care of her, man.” I’ve never heard such deep emotion in my friend’s voice before. Pulling back, I look him in the eye, and for the first time since I’ve known him, I see genuine fear reflected back at me.

  “Of course, man. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” I just can’t say why yet. “She’s upstairs sleeping still. Coffee and bacon are in the kitchen.”

  They drop their bags on the floor and head to the other room as I close the front door. Joining my friends, I pour their drinks as they sit silently at the island.

  “What the fuck happened, Theo?” Nix finally asks, not touching anything in front of him, his fear turning to anger.

  “Ryder didn’t tell you?”

  “Not really. Just said Lola needed me, gave me flight info, and said to get home.” Fuck.

  “Sam killed himself.” No point in sugar-coating it.

  Stunned, they stare at me before West asks why.

  “I hope we’ll be able to find out today. Lola has an interview with the investigating detective at noon,” I explain. Nix is still silent.

  “Why did she need me home because that punk was too weak to handle his life?” His face shows no emotion. Surprised by his reaction, West and I share a look of concern as Emily comes into the room and heads straight for the back door.

  “He is not weak, Nix.” Lola’s tearful voice penetrates the strained silence. “He was broken. He was my friend, and I thought yours too.”

  Letting the dog out, I maintain my distance as I watch Lola and Nix standoff. “Lol.” Nix reaches for her, but she backs up. “I’m angry.”

  “Then be angry at me!” she screams, dropping the blanket from her shoulders as she smacks her chest, revealing the t-shirt she stole from me last night.

  Nix’s eyes narrow as he stares between us but doesn’t comment, yet I know it’ll be coming soon. “Why the hell would I be angry at you?”

  “Because it’s my fault. I didn’t notice Sam was in pain. I should have been able to help him. I should have recognized things were so bad that he felt death was his only option.” Her face is stained scarlet with her pain.

  “That’s not how this works, Lola. You know that. This isn’t your fault.” He reaches for her again. Her eyes are wild as she faces my way.

  “Kitten,” I murmur into her hair as she rushes into my arms. “Your brother's only worried about you.” Her head swings back and forth, not wanting to hear what I have to say.

  “What the fuck is this?” Nix snaps.

  “Not the time,” West tries to reason.

  “Are you fucking my sister, Phantom?” The growled words laced with threat have my eyes rising to meet his furious stare.

  “Don’t,” I say, trying to leash my own temper, “talk about her like that.”

 

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