Dating dr dil, p.23
Dating Dr. Dil, page 23
Kareena smiled at him. “And that’s why you believe in partnership over love. Despite all the science about long-term love, or whatever. Prem, maybe it’s not one or the other. Maybe you have to have both for partnership to last forever. That’s what will sustain forever.”
“Forever is a long time,” he said, softly. He looked down at their linked fingers. “Did I ever tell you I was engaged?”
Her jaw dropped, and her eyes widened. “No. W-what happened?”
Prem nodded, thinking of Gori and the memories he had with her. They were hazy now, like he was watching them through a fog. “It was an arranged marriage. Our parents knew each other. We had a lot in common. We believed in the same life philosophies. She was in business; I was in medicine. We also were pretty good in bed together. Three months after we met, and dated casually, we announced our engagement.”
“Wow,” Kareena said. She let out a deep breath. “That’s . . . that’s fast.”
“Our parents were already celebrating after our first meeting. They found a venue and set the wedding date for a year or so after our engagement. Gori’s headaches started soon after that.” He could remember the first one so vividly. He’d stayed over at her apartment, closed the blinds for her, tucked her in. Everything he could possibly think of doing to make her comfortable as she curled in the fetal position under a blanket.
“She went to her general physician who told her she just had some headaches. I convinced my attending to give her a checkup, too. As a favor they scheduled an MRI and CT, but it was too late.”
“Oh no. Prem . . .” Kareena whispered.
“She had a brain aneurysm that ruptured and caused a hemorrhagic stroke the day I was accepted at Einstein Medical in their cardiothoracic surgery fellowship. I got the call right as I was about to accept.”
Kareena scooted closer to him until their legs were tangled, and they were chest to chest, with Kareena’s head on his shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry.”
It was easier to talk about Gori when Kareena held on to him this way, he thought. He combed his fingers through her unraveling hair. “After Gori died, I was lost for months. I should’ve done something more. I could’ve done something more. Health care for women, specifically women of color, is terrible, and if Gori had a place to go, with doctors who understood what she needed, then maybe she would be alive today.”
Awareness dawned on Kareena’s face. “Your community health center.”
“Yeah.” Prem scanned the now empty beach as he held Kareena close to his chest. It was dark, and a few couples walked hand in hand along the surf. The distant sound of music and chatter from the boardwalk intermingled with the soothing, consistent crash of surf.
“You are a good person, Prem Verma. Our parents view our success as a sign of whether or not their sacrifices in coming to this country were worth it. And you giving back, by making sure that their health and well-being is taken care of? That’s amazing.”
If only I can get the funding for it, he thought. But that wasn’t her problem anymore. He wouldn’t burden her with that right now.
They stayed intertwined, listening to the water for a few moments before Kareena spoke again. “You know what I find funny?”
“What?”
“That we believe in a fundamental difference in how people connect, but in the end, neither of us have found peace. We both are alone.”
Prem snorted. She had a point, but he hated to hear that she still considered herself alone when they were together, holding each other. “That’s true. But at least I’m out here trying to make it work so we don’t have to be. When are you going to try, Kareena Mann?”
“I’m dating. I’m going out. If anything, I’m trying harder than you.”
“You know what I mean,” he said.
She looked away from him, as if their connection was something that she could avoid when it was already too late. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Will you tell me why the house is so important to you?”
She let out a deep shaky breath, and then, almost in a quiet whisper, she said, “I’m like her, you know. My father still says that some of the things I do remind him of her.”
“Your mom?”
Kareena nodded. “Her house is the one place I know I can be me. I don’t think I’ll ever find a place that I can be as connected with someone who accepts me for who I am.” She scrunched up her nose, as if to move her glasses. He did it for her and pressed a kiss at the corner of her mouth just the way he knew she liked.
“You are a wildflower, Rina. You will plant and grow wherever you land.”
“And with whoever?”
There was that strange twisting feeling in his gut again. “Yes. With whoever.”
They sat holding each other for a bit longer, their faces close and the sea breeze cooling their warming skin. The sound of joyful laughter and boardwalk games mixed with the echo of crashing waves.
“You know what this reminds me of?” Kareena asked. She had a little note of amusement in her voice that had him smiling. “A song.”
“Oh god, really?”
She dug into her bag and pulled out her cell phone and a pair of earbuds. “Will you listen with me?”
He couldn’t deny her anything. Prem held out a hand and took one of the earbuds. He put it in his right ear as she did the same with the other earbud in her left ear.
They stretched out their legs and lay back on the cool sand. Prem tangled his fingers with hers again and closed his eyes as they listened side by side. The soft strains of guitar and piano filtered through the earbud.
He felt Rina squeeze his hand.
Prem listened to the lyrics, the words that Kareena always resonated with, and he realized that the longer the song went on, the more attuned he was to the woman next to him.
His heart pounded as he slowly opened his eyes and turned to watch her in her meditative state for the rest of the song. Her mouth was relaxed, her chest rose and fell with easy breaths, and she’d pushed her glasses up on top of her head so he could see her lashes fan over her cheeks.
Never in a million years did Prem think his brain chemistry would betray him and make him doubt for the first time in his life that maybe, just maybe, love could be real.
Interstitial
Indians Abroad News
Dear Readers,
One of the hardest things for us to come to terms with as parents is when things don’t work out the way we hope.
Remember your youth. Religion and reputation should never be used as weapons to incite fear.
Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t use blackmail and bribery.
Mrs. W. S. Gupta
Columnist
Avon, NJ
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kareena
“I feel like I’m the obnoxious friend who can’t stop talking about the guy they’re sleeping with. I don’t know how I became obsessed!” Kareena folded another tent card and passed it to Veera. “How many more do we have to go before we can leave?”
Bobbi checked her printed spreadsheet and the tablet in front of her. “About fourteen,” she said. “The Ramkumaran family. Adults, kids, and grandkids all confirmed for the engagement party. We have to split them between two tables. I think you’re obsessed because you’re getting laid. Hell, I’d be obsessed, too, if I was getting dick.”
“I don’t understand why I have to be here,” Veera mumbled. She looked at the small portable printer, along with the cardstock pages in front of her that she’d been feeding into the machine. “I’m not planning the engagement party. Why is my Friday night shot with you two talking about penis? It makes me feel FOMO.”
“If you want dinner and drinks, it’ll have to cost you something,” Kareena said. “After this is over, let’s leave before my sister and Dadi come back. The tailor they went to is in North Brunswick, and they’ve already been gone for two hours. They should be home soon.”
“I’m surprised you’re here, too,” Bobbi said. She wiggled her eyebrows. “Didn’t your boy toy say something about meeting up again this weekend?”
“He did,” Kareena said. And she couldn’t stop thinking about it. The elephant in their room was getting bigger and bigger as her sister’s engagement party closed in on them.
“Are you going to tell him how you feel?” Bobbi asked.
Kareena shook her head. Damn her best friend for knowing exactly what was on her mind. “I don’t think he’ll react . . . positively. Prem has been nothing but honest about what he thinks of romance from the very beginning.”
Bobbi and Veera looked at each other, then busied themselves with the tent cards.
“Oh my god, I hate when you two do that. It drives me insane.”
“Honey, if you don’t tell him how you feel, then are you two really being honest with each other at the start of your relationship?” Bobbi asked.
“He doesn’t think love sustains a relationship. I think it’s partially to do with his past, but also, I don’t know, maybe his parents? How am I supposed to argue against that?”
“You can only blame your parents for so long before you start making decisions on your own and using them as an excuse,” Bobbi said.
“Bobbi!”
“What?” she said with a shrug. “I learned that from therapy, girl. And we’re talking about Prem’s view on love. If he’s sleeping with you now and asking you to put your future reputation on the line for him, then it’s only fair that he’s honest, too.”
“Which means you have to be honest with him, too,” Veera added.
Kareena folded her arms and leaned against the table. “You know how some South Asian families aren’t that expressive? They just bring you a bowl of fruit when they want to say ‘sorry’ or ‘I love you’? Maybe Prem’s kidnapping attempt was just that. An act of service.”
Bobbi threw her hands in the air and got out of her chair. Veera groaned and dropped her forehead to the desk.
“What? What did I say?”
“Kareena,” Bobbi said as she leaned across the table. “The biggest mistake you can make is trying to interpret someone’s actions in a way that fits your definition for love! If he doesn’t tell you, then he doesn’t love you. That simple!”
“And trust me,” Veera said. “We’ve met him and his friends. They’re all the ‘say what you mean’ type.”
“You’re telling me,” Bobbi muttered.
Their words circled in Kareena’s head as her dark thoughts bubbled and spread like rain clouds. At the shore, he’d thrown her with the news about his fiancée, and why he started his community center. It wasn’t until later when he dropped her off at home that she was able to dissect all their conversations over the weekend.
Damn it, her friends were right. She was interpreting something in a way to make herself feel better.
The front door opened, and a flurry of voices came through the entrance.
“We’re too late,” Veera whispered.
“And there is more than one,” Bobbi added.
Before Kareena could dive under the table and hide, the aunties poured into the room with Bindu and her grandmother behind them.
“Hi, aunties,” Bobbi, Veera, and Kareena said in unison.
“Hello, beautiful betas,” Mona Aunty said. She put her small purse on the kitchen counter and held open her arms and accepted a brief hug from each of them.
“Are you done yet?” Bindu said when she looked at the cards on the table. She held two shopping bags in each hand. “This was supposed to be finished by now.”
“Honey pie, I’d be careful the way you talk to me,” Bobbi said to her, crossing her arms over her chest. “You pay me just enough to plan your events, not to take disrespect.”
Bindi stepped back, and even though she had a look of irritation on her face, she didn’t respond. Damn, Kareena really needed to learn that trick.
“Are you here to help with the planning?” Veera asked the aunties.
“Bindu called us to see her final outfit selections,” Sonali Aunty said. “Loken should be here soon to try on his clothes so we can give the final approval for the sagai.”
“Beta, what are you going to wear?” Farah Aunty asked Kareena. “Not something black, I hope.”
“I’m not sure yet,” Kareena said. Usually, her grandmother and sister put her in whatever outfit they expected her to wear for events like this, so she didn’t have to hear them complain for weeks on end about her choice of style or color.
“Well, you’re less than a month away,” Sonali Aunty replied. “You really need to select something soon; otherwise, you won’t be able to get it tailored and pressed in time.”
“Forget her clothes; who is she going with?” Dadi called from the kitchen. “Bobbi, Veera, are you two helping Kareena find someone for her sister’s engagement party? Even though not that many people care anymore in the community, I still think it looks bad for Kareena that she’s the oldest sister and still single.”
“I thought you all were looking for her?” Bobbi asked.
“We tried, but she wanted nothing to do with the match we found,” Mona Aunty said. She rounded the kitchen to help Dadi take food out of the fridge and to set the water for chai.
“I think it’s because you all realized that it’s not as easy to find a man as it once was,” Veera said bemused.
“She’s right,” Falguni Aunty said.
All the aunties and Dadi turned to her, calling her name in unison.
“What?” Falguni Aunty said. “They’re smart girls. They know if we’re bullshitting them. Kareena, don’t you worry. When you find someone, he’ll be wonderful.”
“She’s already found someone,” Bobbi mumbled.
The entire kitchen went quiet.
“I’m sorry, beta,” Farah Aunty said calmly. “What did you say?”
“I’m going to kill you,” Kareena whispered at Bobbi.
Her friend shrugged and continued to fold the remaining tent cards. “Now you can’t back out tonight.”
She wasn’t going to back out. She’d planned on telling Prem she was willing to do the relationship thing and she’d made up her mind about it. But telling the aunties? That was a whole different experience.
Kareena stood, straightened her shoulders, took a deep breath, and faced the five women who stood around the kitchen like statues.
“Aunties,” she said slowly. “Dadi. I met someone a few months ago. On my birthday. We hit it off really well, then when we met the second time . . . we realized we had huge, fundamental differences. But slowly we, sort of, came to terms with our differences. And now, we’re . . . we’re . . .”
“Dating,” Bobbi and Veera said at the same time.
A series of gasps sounded throughout the kitchen.
“Who?”
“Is he desi?”
“Does he come from a good family?”
“Does he live in New Jersey?”
“Is he real?” Bindu added. She’d been leaning against the back wall checking her cell phone and playing with the curls at the end of her braid.
“Shut up, Bindu,” Kareena said. “He’s real. And you’ve actually all met him. It’s Prem. Prem Verma.”
Kareena waited, counting the seconds of the total silence. Then the entire room exploded with shrieks. The aunties swarmed her, surrounding her with hugs and heavy perfume. Everyone was talking at once, and Kareena had no idea where to turn and who to respond to first.
“We knew he was the perfect person. See? Your aunties know.”
“How could you not tell us right away? We should’ve known earlier, beta.”
“This is so wonderful. I hope that your father is just as happy.”
What the hell was this insanity? She didn’t event receive this kind of joy when she’d achieved her perfect career goals or graduated from law school. The thought that people were happier for her that she found a partner than she found happiness on her own was so cliché it made her nauseous.
But then again, this was something that these women who were like family understood. This was something that they knew well, and finding happiness in home meant something so much to them. Kareena hated that she wasn’t telling them the whole truth, but if she did, they’d never accept her decision to work with Prem.
Dadi squeezed through the masses and gripped Kareena’s face between her hands so that the only person she could focus on was her grandmother. “Beta, do you love him?”
Everyone quieted again, and Kareena felt the back of her neck prickly when all eyes zeroed in on her facial expressions.
“I— I, ah . . .”
“Of course she does!” Veera burst out. “This is the start of her love story!”
The cheering started all over again, and Dadi wrapped Kareena in a hug that squeezed her heart.
Falguni Aunty hustled over to her tote bag and pulled out a large three-inch-wide binder brimming with tabs and hole-punched sheets. “Beta, I’ve already started putting together information for your wedding. Now that we know the groom’s name, we can start planning better.”
“What in the world? I’m dating Prem, not engaged to him!” Not yet.
Sonali Aunty squeezed her shoulder. “You know, I have a standing appointment with the pandit at the Bridgewater temple to review your star charts. Do you think you can have Prem’s family send over his janampatri? That way when you are engaged, we can speed up the process a bit by making sure your charts align.”
“Oh, the roka!” Mona Aunty said. “I have to order your necklace. Unless you want to wear Dadi’s?”
“I’m proud of you,” Dadi said. “Your mother would be so proud of you, too.”
Kareena’s eyes immediately began to burn, and she could feel the tears climbing her throat. No, her mother wouldn’t be proud of her. She wanted to shout it, to tell everyone to stop celebrating. There was nothing to celebrate.
