Zed, p.19
Zed, page 19
Simply put, we appeared to be the only people in his life who consistently gave a shit about him, above and beyond the fact that he represented a paycheck, or was a problem that could be dealt with by throwing more money at it. We were neither his employees nor his father, and as such, I think he secretly valued our presence.
Not that he would ever have admitted as much, but this was a clear case of actions speaking louder than words. He continued to turn up every Saturday and do whatever trumped-up tasks I essentially invented for him—even getting the coffee order right without being asked to do so. He remained in good spirits most of the time—excessive use of expletives notwithstanding.
One thing I knew for sure was that I would never forgive myself if the worse had happened, especially given how badly I’d handled the whole situation. Again. I drove faster, praying I didn’t get pulled over by the cops, because I honestly couldn’t trust myself not to lose my shit at any potential delay.
When I pulled up outside the dilapidated and crumbling theater, there were police cars and an ambulance and lots of people who I presumed were just bystanders milling about on the sidewalk. I parked at the curb, barely killing the engine before springing from the car and running toward the scene. I cast my eyes around, looking for Vivi, but not seeing her in the mix. I rushed to the half-boarded-up entrance of the building just as she emerged looking pale and shaken.
In the split second before she saw me, I braced myself for the tirade of abuse from her that I knew I had earned, but nothing was forthcoming. Instead, she collapsed into my arms, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I’m so glad you’re here. I found him, but it’s not okay. He’s not okay.” The sound of the sobs tearing through her body as she spoke was like an uppercut to the solar plexus. I felt it viscerally.
“What do you mean, he’s not okay? Vivi, what happened?”
She was crying so much, she could hardly speak.
“He looks like he’s been badly beaten. He’s conscious, but just barely. The paramedics said that if we’d gotten here even a few minutes after we did, it could’ve been a very different story. You should see him. He looks terrible, Zed. When I first approached him, I thought we’d lost him. It was the most terrifying moment of my life.”
“Where is he now? What’s happening?” I tried hard to mask the panic in my voice, but I didn’t think I succeeded. It was impossible to keep my cool when I hadn’t even seen Xavier with my own eyes.
Just then the paramedics emerged from the doorway of the old movie house with Xavier on a gurney. Vivi and I surged forward, trying to get close, but were warned back by one of the attending officers.
“Please stay back, folks. This isn’t a spectator sport.”
Ever the lawyer, Vivi’s spoke up. “But we’re family. We need to see if he’s okay.”
“Family? And you would be…?”
“Xavier’s aunt and uncle,” we said in unison.
“His father is away on business in Europe, and his mother isn’t on the scene,” Octavia continued. “We’re the closest family he has in the city right now. It was me who raised the alarm after he called me, and who found him.”
“Oh. Okay, go ahead, ma’am, sir.”
“Thank you,” we both replied.
We approached the ambulance just as the paramedics were starting to load the gurney into it. My arm around her shoulder and hers slipped around my waist, I felt the tension radiating from both of our bodies. The whole scene reminded me too much of the crash, and I felt sick to my stomach with anticipation. My heart was in my throat as we drew nearer to the open door of the vehicle.
When we got close enough to see, I almost wished we hadn’t. Xavier looked awful. He was battered and bruised—his eyes black and swollen to the point of almost total closure, his lips caked in blood and double their normal size. He had cuts to his chin, cheeks, forehead, and the bridge of his nose. He looked worse than any opponent I’d beaten in the boxing ring.
“How is he?” Vivi asked one of the paramedics.
“Hard to tell for sure until they examine him fully in the ER. There could be internal bleeding, organ damage, concussion. For now he seems stable, which is the best we can hope for.”
Vivi nodded slowly, and I could tell she was on the verge of falling apart again. I was the same.
“Can we ride with him to the ER?”
“Okay, come on in, but you need to know that he’s not out of the woods yet. I’m making you aware that coming in here means you could witness some things you really don’t want to. You’re sure?”
The words were barely out of her mouth before we’d both nodded our agreement. Even though he was barely conscious, and probably unaware of what was going on around him, I didn’t want Xavier to be alone.
We climbed into the back and waited while the paramedics did some final checks before one went around to the cab and pulled away from the curb. Riding in the back of an ambulance as it tore through the city, lights blazing, brought back more vivid and extremely painful memories. I bit back the tears threatening to spill, and reminded myself that this wasn’t about me, or Lily. This was about Xavier, and I needed to keep my shit together to be there for him.
We were cramped in the back, but we did our best to stay out of the paramedic’s way as she did her work. She carried out a series of observations, noting the results on a form attached to a clipboard, occasionally nodding or tutting at this number or that. It gave me the worst sense of déjà vu, except that wasn’t what it was. Unfortunately, the memory was all too real.
The whole situation was eerily reminiscent of the worst ride of my entire life. I tried my best to block out the dizzying sense of impending doom and focus on the here and now, and on Xavier. Trying to banish thoughts of Lily from my consciousness, even temporarily and with good reason, made me feel all kinds of heinous, but it was what I needed to do to be there for him in a way I hadn’t been for her. Or him.
We arrived at the hospital without incident; Xavier’s condition had remained stable, which was a relief. Vivi had held his hand the whole way, stroking it gently and murmuring reassurances that I was quite sure she didn’t believe herself, and was equally certain he couldn’t actually hear. Still, I was struck by the thought that she’d make a wonderful mother someday. I had no clue where the hell the idea had come from, but I pushed it away rather than have to deal with the whys and wherefores of thinking that way, especially at a time like that.
The ambulance came to a stop, and it was action stations again. Xavier was whisked to the ER while someone thrust a clipboard with another form on it into Vivi’s hands. As his “family,” we were expected to complete the admission forms on his behalf, though apart from the information Vivi was able to tap into by using her phone to access the case files on her work server, we knew precious little about Xavier Cross. Still, they took the information we did have and allowed us to follow Xavier into the triage area before he was admitted to the ward.
When Vivi had earlier described the experience as terrifying, she wasn’t wrong. Watching as people rushed to and fro, working on Xavier, making notes, speaking in hushed tones to one side truly was. I’d seen it all before, and it hadn’t ended well first time around.
They whisked him off for X-rays, instructing us to take a seat in the reception area. We waited for what felt like centuries until eventually a doctor came and explained the situation. It would seem that though badly beaten, Xavier had been “lucky” in that he hadn’t ruptured any organs, there was no internal bleeding. He did, however, have a possible broken nose, and three definitely cracked ribs, which I knew from personal experience would hurt like a bastard as they healed. Still, things could have been a lot worse. I would’ve gladly given anything I had, including my soul, to the Devil to have had the same outcome for Lily.
When they predicted a full recovery and moved him up to the ward for further observation, I didn’t think I’d ever felt such relief. I slumped back in my chair, releasing the breath I’d been holding for hours, or at least since I’d heard that Xavier was missing.
Vivi burst into tears, and I couldn’t say that I blamed her. The past few hours had been an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions. I put my arm around her shoulders, drawing her into my chest and stroking her hair with the other hand.
“It’s okay. He’s going to be okay,” I murmured over and over as she cried. “Come on, let’s go see him. He needs us.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll pull myself together.” The words came in stutters between ragged breaths.
“Don’t apologize. You’re human, and you’ve just been through an ordeal. It’s okay to be shaken. I am too.”
She nodded mutely, her breath continuing to come in jittery bursts as she struggled to regain her composure. I kissed her hair and was overwhelmed by the rush of emotion I felt at the intimacy of the scene. It was like in the course of one terrible morning, we’d gone from virtual strangers to… family.
As though reading my mind, when Vivi spoke next, she seemed a lot more composed.
“Zed? Thanks for coming here and letting me do this”—she motioned between us—“but you need to know that you’re still going to be on my shit list for a long time. I can’t just forgive and forget something that could’ve had life-or-death consequences, okay?”
“I know, and it goes without saying that I’m sorry, but I’ll say it anyway. I’m sorry. I let you down, and I let Xavier down big-time. It’s something I’ll neither forget nor forgive myself for. Ever.”
“I’m sure. Anyway, there’ll be plenty of time for that later, and you can beat yourself up over your behavior to your heart’s content then. I just needed to get my shit off my chest right away so we don’t air our dirty laundry in front of Xavier later. Now come on. He needs us more than we need to be here having this conversation. Let’s go.”
Corporate Barbie was back in full effect, and I fucking loved it.
28
Vivi
As we entered Xavier’s room and I saw him asleep in his hospital bed, propped up on a tidy pile of plush pillows, clad in crisp white slips, my mind automatically doubled back to the moment I’d found him earlier that morning in the haunted-looking disused theater.
Naturally, I’d entered with trepidation. The place had seemed unsafe, with rubble everywhere, and plaster and beams dangling precariously from the walls and ceiling. If there was a creepier place in New York, I wasn’t aware of it. It also stank, a mixture of smells mingling in a potent and stomach-churning combination—rat, bat, bird, and human waste, and the distinct aroma of rotting flesh burned my nostrils as I picked my way through the debris. I cursed the fact that I was the first one to arrive and made another mental note for the complaint I was definitely going to file when the dust had settled a little.
“Xavier?” My whisper-shout echoed loudly, ricocheting from the walls and ceiling around me. I hoped to God that if Xavier was there, he was somewhere easy to spot; otherwise, in a ruinous building like this, finding him would be like looking for a human needle in a dilapidated haystack.
“Xavier? Are you here?” I walked deeper into the space that was once the grand foyer, picking my way through, taking care not to trip or fall on the hazards caused by missing floorboards or piles of detritus.
“Xavier?”
It was then that I saw it—a lone Converse sneaker near to what I figured would once have been the candy bar. I rushed over as fast as I could, given the perilous nature of the ground beneath my feet. The last thing we needed at that point was me out of action as well as Xavier.
I lurched the last few feet, no longer concerned about my own safety, and dove behind the remnants of the counter. He was slumped against the wall, half sitting, half lying, phone still resting in his slack, open hand. I’ll never forget the sight. The image of his bloodied and bruised face will haunt my dreams—or more accurately, my nightmares—forever. As will the stabbing feeling in my chest as I momentarily thought that he may not have been breathing. I hoped never to know terror and panic like it again.
I threw myself into a crouching position.
“Xavier? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Sitting down on the floor among the filth, I cradled him in my arms, unsure of what else to do. His phone fell from his limp hand, landing with a thud among the dirt.
“Xavier? Xavier?”
It was then that I heard it.
“Ehhhhhhh.” It was the faintest wheeze of life, but it was life all the same. Relief didn’t even begin to describe the emotion that flooded my body.
“Hello? Hello? NYPD and EMTs. Anyone here?”
“Hi! Over here! Help us, please!” More relief. Help was at hand.
Moments later, the police and paramedics joined me behind the candy bar, firing a barrage of questions my way, most of which I was completely incapable of answering—I’d only just arrived on the scene myself, after all. I felt worse than useless as they ushered me out of the way while the medics tended to Xavier, first examining and then treating him before loading him onto a gurney.
I followed closely behind as the officers continued their questioning. I was desperate to help and tried to answer everything they asked, but in reality, I knew precious little more than they did.
As I hurried out of the building, I couldn’t have been more relieved to see Zed. Even as I’d spoken clearly and calmly to the cops, internally I was increasingly freaking out. Although Xavier had been found and was conscious, I still couldn’t help but fret about all of the unknowns.
Had he OD’d on something? Did he have internal injuries? What had he even been doing in the gross and seedy building in the first place? Was he still in danger? Had he done something or taken part in something that would get him in real trouble with the law, or leave lasting effects in some other way?
I knew Zed knew no more than me and could do nothing more than I had done or could do, but just being enveloped in his strong embrace made me feel instantly better. It was ridiculous really. I barely even knew the guy, but what I did know hadn’t all been sunshine and lollipops. I knew he’d lied to me, or at least failed to tell me the whole truth, and possibly perjured himself in court. Plus he’d let me down badly that morning, and as a result let Xavier down, albeit inadvertently on both counts.
Still, seeing him as I emerged from the putrid shell of a building made me feel instantly better. Despite my anger toward him for his earlier behavior, as soon as I was in his arms, the tears I’d worked so hard to contain sprang from my eyes of their own accord.
* * *
With my mind back on the present as we walked softly across Xavier’s room, I was suddenly struck by how physically alike he and Zed were. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t registered the similarity before—the thick wavy blond hair, the startling icy blue eyes, the strong, regal jaw.
“Gosh. I’ve only just noticed, but the two of you could be father and son.”
Zed held his hands up in mock surrender, smiling ruefully. “It wasn’t me, I swear.”
“I wasn’t implying anything untoward, but you can’t tell me you can’t see the resemblance. You look like brothers.”
Zed shrugged mildly, saying nothing.
“Brothers… that’s it!” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t worked it out sooner.
“That’s what?” He narrowed his eyes as he looked at me, clearly trying to follow or even predict my train of thought.
“Nothing. I just have to contact my brother is all. He’s the one who traced Xavier via his phone—well, one of his business partners did, to be exact. I know he’ll be worried about us both—Xavier and me—if I don’t let him know the latest news.” He seemed to swallow the lie, much to my relief.
I sat in the chair closest to the bed and took Xavier’s hand in one of mine, covering it with the palm of the other hand and stroking gently back and forth. I whispered to him quietly, despite knowing he was asleep.
“Hey, kid, you gave us a huge fright back there. I’m glad you’re okay, but I’m telling you now, if you put us through anything like that again, I’ll kill you myself.” I was only half joking.
Zed had sat in the chair next to me, a small tight smile playing at the corners of his lips as I spoke.
I dug out my phone and quickly fired off a text—I really did need to update Nate.
Me: We found him! Thank you so much for your help, big bro. I owe you to the moon and back.
I didn’t think there were enough smiley-face emojis in the world to convey my gratitude to Nate.
Nate: Great! Don’t mention it. Anything for you. You’re at the hospital with him now?
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Nate: Seriously, Vivi, do you need to ask? Did you think I was going to let you go off into fuck-knows-what danger without taking precautions? Have you met me?
Me: Okay, point taken. So what did you do?
Nate: I had Dillon trace your phone as well as the kid’s. I know exactly where you both are.
Aaaargh! I had a love-hate relationship with my brother’s unrelenting alpha male tendencies, but I could hardly complain about that in these circumstances. Xavier potentially owed Nate his life.
Nate: Also, who is ‘we’?
Me: A friend of mine, and before you ask, yes, a guy.
Nate: WHO IS HE?
Me: OMG. Seriously? Enough with the overbearing big brother routine, already. I just wanted to let you know we’re okay. Xavier’s pretty beat up, but it could be worse.
Nate: Could be better too. Who do I need to kill?
