Queen awakens dark secre.., p.5
Queen Awakens (Dark Secrets Book 1), page 5
“Thank you,” I replied, trying to sound grateful. It fell short as my tone was dry.
I knew it was a process. I lived it every day. Alyssa was the first one who knew what had happened. My thoughts drifted to the summer and my last class with Professor Clarkson. He knew, and I didn't even tell him. He just saw I was in pain.
And the other day, when I walked off with Wyatt, a man who I barely knew and yet had settled into my daily schedule of interaction, was a step in the right direction. Only, today was one of those days where the fear and anxiety creeped up suddenly and took hold of everything in my life. It was like a parasite sucking the life out of everything, and sometimes it felt like it was gone only for it to rear its ugly head again later.
“So, Ronan,” I said, changing the subject quickly to her instead.
“Ronan and I are done, obvi’s.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I mean, what a creep, right?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, shoving the BBQ pork into my mouth as Alyssa picked at her salad. “I mean, it’s just weird. Why was he staring at me and getting weird?” I asked, curious.
Ronan didn’t know what had happened to me, at least I didn’t think he did. Until recently, he had barely paid me any attention, and about the unwanted attention… I was already nervous around men, most of the time… okay, all the time.
“No, I don’t think it’s weird,” Alyssa said, shoving a small forkful of salad into her mouth. “I mean, really, Charlie, you don’t even see what everyone else sees.”
“You are being silly again,” I mumbled as I swallowed the latest victim of my hunger, the corn muffin.
“No, you are.” She rolled her eyes. “You, my friend, are hot under those glasses, the silly ponytail, and drab, oversized t-shirts.”
“I’m done. Do you have plans after this?” I changed the subject again to something I was more comfortable with.
“I’m going back to our hobbit hole to take a nap.” She stopped. “Unless you need me?”
‘No.” I smiled. “I’ll see you later.”
“Later. Call me if you need anything.”
She hugged me before leaving. I watched her walk away. She had no way of knowing it, but I hated being in public places alone.
This is where they find you, a familiar voice inside my head said.
That overwhelming feeling of fear was about to crash down on me, but then my cellphone rang. My dad’s face popped up on the screen, and that mind-numbing terror that smashed into me like a tsunami settled, even if for just a few moments longer. I slid the answer button.
“Dad?” I asked, keeping my voice clear and steady while biting my bottom lip in the process of distracting myself from the impending sense of doom looming so close.
“Hey, honey,” his warm voice spoke through the speaker. “Are you okay?”
He had this way of just knowing when something wasn’t right with me. Although, he didn’t know exactly what, he knew something was different. My dad was a big guy, burly and rough around the edges, with dark brown hair and soft brown eyes lined with bushy brows and eyelashes for days. I’d seen him turn a few ladies’ heads in my years.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m okay,” I answered, keeping my voice even and calm.
“Is Alyssa coming home this weekend?” he inquired, an underlining tone that he didn’t believe that I was okay, but he wouldn’t press the matter further either.
“Not that I know of,” I replied.
It was normal for my father to call me home occasionally. I thought at first it was just because he missed me and worried about me, but lately, our friend Clarissa was always there. She had just come for a visit here and there, but now she visited more often it seemed.
Maybe they were finally dating?
He is still a fairly hot guy and has been alone for a while, whispered the odd thoughts in my head that didn’t seem like mine. That voice was confident and sure of herself. I didn’t think of it as me.
“How about I pick you up after your last class on Saturday?” He paused, waiting to see if I would say anything but then continued, “Unless, of course, you have something to do this weekend?”
“No, not really. Just studying,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. The cellphone buzzed in my ear strangely, and I quickly pulled it away from my face, only catching the end of his next sentence.
“- to come on Sunday,” he grunted into the phone gruffly. Not because he felt upset, but it was just his mannerism to be, well, how he had always been. My dad, the one place and person who made me feel safe.
“No, Dad. I’d like to come on Friday.”
It would be good for Alyssa to have the dorm to herself, and I could use a larger area to study for whatever they would dish out in the first week. It was the first week of the actual class, but I had spent the summer on campus with Alyssa taking extra summer courses in a feeble attempt to graduate a little earlier. Veterinary school was a long process, and I was trying to finish as early as possible.
“I forget, honey. You have no weekend or night classes this semester, do you?” he asked, the gruffness gone, replaced by what sounded like a twinge of worry.
“No, not this semester, but my schedule is insanely full during the week. My last class on Friday gets out a little late in the afternoon.”
I had loaded myself down with as many credits as possible. My plan was to finish undergraduate school in two-and-a-half years and move onto the medical part next, but that was before what had happened, and now I worried some days that I wouldn’t make it even one more day.
“Right.” He laughed, a deep rumble that sounded as though it bellowed from deep in his chest. “My brainiac child trying to rule the world early.”
“Always.” I laughed, the tone genuine and like magic; the anxiety that had gripped me earlier and had threatened to consume me melting away. “See you outside the dorms on Friday. Love you, Dad.”
“Love you too.”
I spent most of Tuesday shut into our dorm when not in class, going over the expectations for each class and the first week assignments. Most of it was simple and easy to get a head start on. Alyssa eventually pulled me from our room late Tuesday night.
“Simone and Beth are at the Java hut. They want us to join them,” Alyssa announced, not giving me a chance to protest.
She grabbed my arm, pulling me upright and out the door. Simone and Beth were friends we had met our first week here. They were also best friends and in a similar pre-med program as we were.
Simone, like Alyssa, had an odd obsession with the working mechanics of the brain, only in a different way. She was studying to be a neurological surgeon. And Beth wanted to be a family practitioner. We had all joked about setting up in a building for a one stop shop of all your medical needs. We just needed to pull in a few more doctors. Bring your dog for a checkup and fix yourself, your brain, and treat that rash that keeps spreading; we joked that that would be our slogan.
The smell of the coffee drifted to my nose with its rich aroma, even at eight P.M. with the barista wiping down the counter while eyeing the clock for closing time to approach. On campus, coffee shops stayed open later because the real money came in from desperate college students in need of late-night caffeine. It was still early in the year to see it so crowded with kids who couldn’t find or pay the Ritalin or Adderall dealer anymore, hoping for a boost to study through the test or write that ridiculously long paper they had waited until last minute to finish.
“Hey, girl!” Simone practically squealed from a booth next to the right side of the shop. The streetlight shining through the window projected a soft glow across her already perfect skin. Simone was beautiful, and she knew it.
Like Alyssa, they were very similar. Both charismatic and extraverted. Simone’s hair was shorter and a lighter shade than the light brown she had been sporting at the end of last year. She looked like Halle Berry with a slight Asian twist. Simone was a mix of South Korean and African American, and her exotic looks were the root of her stunning features. Add that with her charisma, and her and Alyssa were damn near an unstoppable force… when they agreed, which was rare.
We walked over to them, or I should say I was dragged quickly over to them. Simone grabbed me and squeezed me until I practically couldn’t breathe. She had an issue with boundaries, but I was used to it. Her signature gold hoops flashed by my cheeks, and the perfume she always wore tickled my nose. Simone was the most flamboyant out of all of us. Alyssa, although taking second place, was slightly more down to earth.
“Hey, Charlie,” Beth whispered, warmth wrapped in her words and a kind smile on her lips.
Like Alyssa and I, Beth was Simone’s opposite. Where Simone was loud and demanding, Beth was quiet, reproachful, cautious, and observant. I used to fill up the middle of our group, being not as quiet as Beth but not as vibrant as Simone yet still reserved more than Alyssa.
Beth was the relatively quiet one who cared deeply for her friends. She was the first to call on you if you were sick and do something nice to cheer you up. She’d seek you out and make sure you were okay if she sensed something was wrong. Beth also knew things about me, but only because I couldn’t keep it from her. She saw everything. Yet, despite this, she was loyal and good at keeping secrets.
“Hey.” I smiled warmly.
“How was your summer?” she asked, trying to hide the concern.
She braided her dirty blond hair to the side, tendrils escaping tickled her face. She pushed it away from her light tan cheeks. Beth was also exquisite in terms of beauty; although, she downplayed her looks. Alyssa would say we were too much alike, but there were differences.
Beth was like Simone, mixed; only, her mother was half Irish and half Saharan African. Her father was Canadian, with pale skin and the same green eyes and dirty blond hair as her. They moved to the United States when a job in Atlanta offered him a position he couldn’t turn down. Then, from Atlanta, Beth came here because they offered her a full scholarship and, she would always mutter, she hated the city.
“It was…” I paused, realizing I needed to be a little truthful, so I sighed. “It was long.”
It was all I could say. Beth’s large, green-hazel eyes widened in understanding. Her smile slipped, for just a second before she eased it back into place. She didn’t want Simone to ask what was wrong, and I was grateful for her intuitiveness.
“Well, my summer was off the chain,” Simone announced loudly with a giggle.
She bounced back into the booth next to Beth after gushing over Alyssa and vice versa. I slid in across from Beth as Alyssa followed.
“Dale,” Simone turned, yelling across the room at the boy behind the counter. “A round of caramel latte’s please, my good friend.” She turned back around as Dale answered back.
“This isn’t a bar, Simone. Come up to the counter and order like everyone else.”
He stood there, lanky in his orange apron with Java Hut scrawled in black on the right breast. His hair screamed stressed senior, as we called it. By junior/senior year, the appearance of many of the students turned to that of someone who had shoved themselves into a blender then put themselves back together. His hair was unkept, sticking up in multiple directions, and even summer break didn’t seem to replace the dark circles under his eyes. Poor guy.
“That was me ordering, Dale,” Simone answered sweetly in return.
I glanced over to poor Dale, seeing him roll his eyes and groan before starting on four drink orders. He more than likely worked this job on top of his studies and classes to help pay for school. I knew I was fortunate not to be in the same boat.
“How about you?” Alyssa inquired politely to Beth.
“It was boring mostly.” She shrugged. “I mean, all I really did was help my mum and read.”
Beth lived right on the outskirts of Atlanta. The only reason she and Simone knew each other was because they had gone to the same prep school. How they had become the most unlikely of friends had started like Alyssa and I; when they were younger, they had just clicked.
“She is being modest.” Simone exhaled dramatically. “She read, went to a few parties with me, and I dragged her butt out to a few dozen places.”
“Only when she didn’t want to go alone,” Beth piped in with a wide grin. She relaxed, nudging her shoulder into Simone playfully.
“Listen,” Simone exerted her best professional advice voice. She raised her hands to express the importance of her words. The gold bangles adorning her slim wrists reflected the light. “We need to enjoy ourselves when we can because…” She leaned in over the table, closer to us, and lowered her voice. “…too much longer and we ain’t gonna have any time to have fun.”
Alyssa had remained mostly quiet, but just then she expelled a long groan. “What do you mean? I’m already overwhelmed and unable to have the fun I ‘ain’t gonna have’ one day,” she drawled out in imitation of Simone’s occasional southern accent.
Alyssa’s mother was originally from Pennsylvania and had refused to allow her to speak anything but, as she called it, proper English. But each of us, despite not being original southerners, had still picked up a few words.
“Hey, who are the crazy bitches that done went and loaded themselves down?” Simone’s snappy attitude was dripping from her plump red lips, and she jerked her head to the side at Alyssa, enlarging her small almond eyes before bursting into laughter with Alyssa.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Alyssa chuckled, her blond hair brushing the sides of her cheeks. “I’m the dumbass.” She paused, looking at me. “Well, I guess we both are.” She wrapped her arms around me. “At least we can complain to each other.”
“Yeah, that is true,” I replied.
I joined in on their laughter but halfway through my smile slipped from my face as a thought crossed my mind. I enjoyed the stress because it would keep me from thinking of other things. At first, it was because I had all these aspirations to graduate early. Now, I did it almost to punish myself.
Alyssa noticed the change in my demeanor and squeezed my hand softly under the table. “But how am I supposed to help people by handing out drugs and listening to them complain by the ripe old age of twenty-seven? Hell, by that time, I’ll be desperate for work just to pay off the student loan debt!”
“You and me both.” Simone nodded with a groan.
“Your drinks are ready,” Dale called from the counter.
“I’ll get them,” I mumbled, shuffling closer to Alyssa to move her out of the way. She popped up and didn’t protest as I shuffled up to the counter.
“Th-thanks, Dale,” I said, fumbling over my words with a cringe as he met my eyes. The sudden attention made me nervous.
“Anytime, Charlie,” he replied with a smile that widened his face just slightly. His ears were overly big and overwhelmed his face, but, other than that, he wasn’t repulsive. What he lacked in hotness, he made up for in personality. He was a nice guy.
“Good, because I’m sure I’ll be back soon.” I laughed, trying to be more friendly. Recently, I had been cold and distant with most men. It was easier that way, safer. But I was at least attempting.
One step at a time, replied that inner voice.
“It’s good to see you smile.” He leaned over to wipe the counter off but then paused as I was turning to leave. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you… Would you like to get coffee sometime, together? Not here, of course.”
And, just like that, gone was the relaxed mood, replaced by that gut-wrenching, intense crash of tension that made my stomach queasy and my heart race.
“Uhm, I-I…” I tried to force the words out, but I just couldn’t.
I watched Dale’s face as his grin faded from the unintended rejection. He didn’t understand that it wasn’t his fault, and all it did was make me feel worse, ashamed.
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, bringing his focus back to cleaning the already spotless counter. “Some other time then.” He glanced up.
“Mmhm,” was all I could say as I snatched up the four drinks awkwardly and retreated away. It was only then, as I approached the table, that I realized my friends were all staring my way, waiting. I barely had time to slide into the booth when Simone pounced on me.
“Did he ask you out?” she whispered, leaning in, her gold hoops dangling dangerously close to the table.
“Dale is a nice guy,” Alyssa said as she tried to divert the attention away from me.
“Yeah, I’m not saying he ain’t, but damn, Char, you looked spooked as hell,” Simone lowered her voice even more, to a barely audible hush.
I stole a glance over to Dale, which was a mistake because he was watching.
“Stop it. You’re making a scene,” I muttered through gritted teeth at Simone. I straightened my back, breathing in deeply as the anxiety attack that almost claimed me seeped slowly away. Simone rolled her eyes.
“Girl, I don’t give a damn about no scene,” she said a little louder. “But,” she lowered her voice and smiled innocently, “I get it. I’ll not make one for you.” She winked at me, and the last bit of chilling fear disappeared, and I grinned back at her with a silent sigh.
“Hey, I’m sorry, but I need to be going. I’m heading back,” I apologized. I was explaining my half-attempted excuse as to why, but Simone let out a very audible groan.
“You just got here!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, she didn’t sleep well last night. Our AC was making some weird buzzing sound,” Alyssa offered in assistance. “I only slept because it’s on her side, and I sleep like the dead.” She stopped, giving me a quick smile.
“But we got coffee for this,” Simone stubbornly pressed.
“I will pick up the tab for her coffee tonight,” Beth interjected, “and, honestly, I’m pretty beat.”
Simone glared daggers at her, but Beth ignored her.
“Mind if I walk with you?” Beth asked.
“No, that would be…” I paused, realizing it relieved me in so many ways. It was an out from sitting here and discussing how my summer went, and it meant I had someone to walk with. “That would great,” I finally replied, after an unnecessarily long pause.
