Anarchy, p.18
Anarchy, page 18
“She's ours,” I muttered. “We get to take her back with us and...” I trailed off, but I didn't have to finish.
I would fuck her like that, too.
Right?
She'd want me to?
I wanted to make her make those sounds. I wanted to feel her shaking over my cock—knot—which Sin couldn't even offer her. I should be first—I was pack lead.
And we were supposed to… be allied with the Redgraves after they’d done this to us?
I glanced at our bodyguards, strangling a growl as I found them very distracted by the performance on the stage.
I was equal parts jealous and fucking furious, parts of me only recently balanced surfacing and demanding blood.
Maybe that would have concerned me, but then Sin took it upon himself to lift my sweet scent match and curl her dainty fists around the bars of the cage right in front of us.
I shifted forward, caught between getting closer because I needed to see her clearly, and because I wanted to block every other foul alpha’s view.
We’d been warned, explicitly, though, if we stood up, we were out.
Still, Sin seemed to have chosen the placement on purpose because Karma, Phantom, and I had front row seats as he claimed her before us.
With one fist clutching a cage bar, and the other, her hips, he fucked her brutally. Her lips were parted, eyes wide, moonlight hair wild and messy around her cheeks, and that beautiful bite across her breast in perfect vision.
Her eyes flickered open for a moment, and it seemed it was an accident, as if she didn’t want to look beyond the bars. But then we locked eyes, and, to my surprise, a shot of happiness flitted down the bond, stark against the roiling lust that was otherwise consuming it.
Finally—fucking finally—I lost track of where we were.
That was my mate.
Both my omegas.
Sin leaned down, nipping her shoulder, having to hold her up, her legs were so weak.
She cried out as another orgasm consumed her, one fist releasing the bars as she reached back, weaving desperately through Sin’s hair and tilting her head. He reacted in a flash, drawing her into a deep kiss.
And for a moment, as my mate, the only person in the world I could see in colour, drew close to Sin, I saw a flicker of him.
The warmth to his pale skin and the crimson of his eyes.
I stared, heart thundering in my chest.
25
CRESCENT
I was oddly and shockingly... not afraid by the time we were done.
Today I’d done everything I’d been told I shouldn’t—I was a sinner and temptress—but it didn’t feel wrong. Sin had been there, and I trusted him more than I’d ever trusted the Sisters.
They’d abandoned me in the end, anyway…
So, if I was going to panic about it, that would hit later. Right now, I was too overwhelmed by how much Sin wanted me.
He’d claimed me. Bitten me.
There was a time, not long ago, when a scent match and a pack were dreams that felt so far away they seemed impossible.
I hadn't kept my eyes shut in the end—especially after he'd bitten me. I'd needed to see him, and the reverence in his eyes as he claimed me.
I was dizzy from his praise and how often he leaned close to tell me how good I was doing.
I didn’t know how. All I'd known was that the moment I'd pushed away my fear of the audience was the same moment I caved to him.
It wasn't just him.
The others had been there too, and they were waiting for us when we were let out by the Redgrave pack. I stumbled right into Phantom's arms the moment I spotted them. I'd been so nervous earlier, when they'd been ripped from me, but everything would be okay now.
Phantom's pupils were blown, grip on me tight enough to be unnatural.
The room had been so dark I'd barely been able to make out anything—not that I'd tried. All those eyes made me too nervous to consider for long.
He pulled me tight against his chest. I clutched him, pulse racing a million miles a minute.
“Sin said I did good,” I whispered, “and we're safe now?”
“You did,” Phantom promised. “And we will be.” His gaze flicked to meet Sin’s, relief in them.
“Can I cuddle with you both tonight?” I asked, stifling an enormous yawn as I spoke.
“Of course you can, Moonlight,” Karma said, mussing my hair.
Vandle was there too, and he had an oversized sweater in his hands, the same prison grey I was used to. He also looked a little dazed as he helped me put it on.
“You tired, Firefly?” Sin asked as my head popped out the other side.
“That was... way more work than I thought... and I didn’t really do anything?”
Vandle snorted. “You did plenty.”
I shrank a little, anxiety washing over me as the high of the sex faded. “So none of you thought you wouldn't... want me afterwards?”
I was met with strange silence as each of the alphas gawked at me.
Sin finally broke it with a snort. “No alpha in their right mind wouldn’t want to swap places with me today.”
My cheeks heated. “Oh. Well… alright.”
A warmth rose in my chest too, and I knew it wasn’t just because of the sweater I was now wearing. I hugged myself, hands gone in the sleeves, and my attention caught on a table by the door.
A rusty bronze key lay on it. It matched the metal and style of the cage we’d been in. I stared at it, pulse suddenly racing.
Was it… the key that kept everyone else out? That had protected the special moment between me and Sin?
“Are you ready to head back to the cell, Firefly?” Sin asked.
I spared half a glance at him, before locking back onto the key. It was very nice, with natural tarnish that gave it character.
Kind of perfect.
Really perfect, actually.
Realizing I might seem odd, I smiled, forcing my attention away, then wondering if they’d think there was something wrong with me for not still being terrified. What had he asked?
Oh.
“Yes.”
Sin wrapped his arm around my waist, keeping me stable. The rest of the pack pushed and shoved to be closest to us as we headed to the exit. Phantom let out a soft growl when he lost the fight to Vandle.
We walked past the table on our way out and I knew I shouldn’t snag my finger on the key, and slide it from the table into my pocket.
But I couldn’t leave it behind.
So I held the cold metal in my palm, hidden in my pocket, and hummed to myself as we walked back to our cell.
Now I’d always have a memory, and something new to put in my nest.
26
SIN
“We… protected them,” Crescent whispered. It was late. Vandle and Phantom were down at the cafeteria grabbing some extra snacks, since we missed dinner and didn’t really want to show our faces right now. Karma was just outside, working on a mural with Bug and Finnian.
I was curled up in a mountain of pillows and blankets with my omega. I think I might have growled at anyone who’d come too close, which may explain why they were giving us space, but after this evening, I needed a little downtime.
“We did,” I replied.
I was obsessed with her—more than was healthy—so I was clocking every tell she had. I think that thing her pupils did, a small quiver from side to side, happened when she was nervous, or stressed. But by the end of our show it was gone, as if she’d forgotten everything else.
Now as she looked up at me, her pupils were completely steady, if a slight bit cross-eyed with fatigue.
She was so fucking beautiful, and she seemed so… proud of herself.
Not the reaction I expected after what we’d just done. But there was so much more to Crescent than met the eye.
“I know Vandle is a seer, so the dark bond is safe, but it still feels like I’m doing something wrong?”
“Why?” I asked. I could always feel it from her. Even when she was happy. It was a constant undercurrent of guilt. Of shame. I think she was so used to it—she might not even know it was there.
“I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d ever have a pack who takes care of me like this. I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”
“I wish you didn’t see the world like that, Firefly,” I murmured. “You belong here with us.”
She considered me for a long moment, something yearning in those beautiful golden eyes, as if she wanted to reach out to cup my words and stuff them into her heart to keep her warm.
I brushed my fingers across her cheek. “Do you believe me?”
“I’m not sure…” She frowned, eyes darting to the side. “You know, even before I was gold pack… I was always different.”
“Why did you choose golden eyes?”
“I didn’t.” She shook her head. “No, no. My parents were… they weren’t good people, they were traitors. T-terrorists. Didn’t believe omegas should get the injection, so they kept me home until we were discovered. That’s how I ended up in the Convent. Which is good, of course—” she added. “They said otherwise I’d have never learned my place.”
I frowned. “There is nothing wrong with you, Firefly. The others are obsessed with you. It’s been days, and I can’t imagine what it would be like without you.”
Her lip wobbled. “But what if I go into heat, and you realized you don’t want me?”
I raised an eyebrow. “We all want you now. Why would anything change?”
“Well… it took a few days after the bite before you wanted me…?”
I blinked, lips parting in shock for a second. “You are—were—a virgin, Firefly. Dropped into a prison of feral alphas.”
“Does that mean… I’m not as… desirable?”
“No,” I snorted. “It means we wanted to take it slow so you could adjust. Biting you doesn’t mean we need sex right away.”
“Sister Matilda said it would.”
“Did Sister Matilda have a pack?” I asked.
“Of course not. She’s a nun.”
“Then why were you listening to her?” I prodded. “I’m an omega with a pack, and I haven’t even been with my alphas.”
She wrinkled her nose, looking lost for a moment. “You’re not… gold pack like me. They said I’d have to do more to make up for it.”
She had no idea that, by all rights, my eyes should be gold.
Still, I took in those words, knowing how far we’d have to go before she was healed from the poison they’d fed her for… how many years? “Well. You do have a pack now, and we make the rules. Not Sister Matilda.”
“I don’t know.” She sounded unsure, fingers anxiously twisting my shirt. “I just feel like I’m going to wake up and you’ll realize you’ve been tricked.”
I stroked her cheek with my thumb, a low simmer of hatred beginning at the idea of anyone who’d made her feel lesser. “You’re ours, now, Firefly. There’s no taking that back.”
She swallowed.
“You think Vandle and his special eyes would have picked wrong?” I added.
She frowned, eyes shivering back and forth for a moment, but she didn’t answer. I was drawn back to her previous words.
“What did you do for heats at the Convent?” I asked. I wondered if she was like me, drugged up so many times the first true heat would be uncontrollable.
“They said we had to learn how to do it alone.”
“You… what?” I asked.
“We’d have to wait it out.”
“No drugs?”
“That wouldn’t be… right…” She whispered. “We had to understand the cost of our eyes.”
There was a strange ringing in my ears. “How many heats have you had like that?”
“Five… at first they came closer together, but then they were more spread out…”
I wondered if that was the trauma…
Jesus Christ.
The agony that would have caused…
It explained how touch starved she was.
“Your eyes are perfect, Firefly.” That's all I could find words to say.
No one should have ever made her feel there was something wrong with them.
She was looking into mine right now, though, as if trying to figure out what they meant.
“You know… my eyes have always been different, even before they were gold,” she said.
“Were they?” I asked. I had a strange feeling, that between her snow white hair, pale eyelashes, and light skin with pink undertones, I might know.
“Used to be light pink. And I couldn’t—still can’t go out in the sun, much.”
I smiled. “I’m sure they were just as beautiful pink.”
“I half think my parents kept me from the injection because they wanted to know if the pink or gold would win. Turns out, gold beats all…” She frowned, trailing off. “You… took the injection, though? Was that your choice?”
I tried to contain my wince. I, like Vandle, had been a part of experiments before this. I remembered very little, but one thing I could remember was… “No. I didn’t.”
She cocked her head. “And… they didn’t go gold?”
No. I had a distinct memory of something very different. Looking at my own pale face in the reflection of a murky mirror. Chestnut brown eyes flecked with crimson. Something creeping in.
Something… that shouldn’t be. “They… were always like this.”
“Oh.” Either that satisfied her, or she didn’t want to pry further, which was good, because it had never been something I wanted to explore too deeply.
I knew she could heal from where she came from, but it wouldn’t be instant.
She was already coming out of her shell.
“Do you love them?” she asked, after a pause.
“What?”
“The others?”
I felt a smile curve my lips. I knew why she was asking. My relationship with my pack wasn’t conventional, and she was navigating what it meant to be an omega. “Yeh. ‘Course I do.” It was true. It’s just not what people expected to see, but my pack was the most important part of my life—by a long shot.
She nodded, considering my words. “But you’re not as… needy as me?”
“I’m different.”
“Are you sure I’m not the one who’s all wrong?” she asked. “I feel like I could be with one of you every second, and it wouldn’t bother me at all…”
I smiled. “Good.” I was so addicted to her already, so it was a breath of fresh air to hear she was the same.
“But you’re sure that wouldn’t bother you?”
I took a breath, not really wanting to go into the difference between me and most of the other omegas in here. Between me and her. “There’s nothing wrong with you. There are enough omegas in here for me to know that,” I told her. Her eyes held mine, fireflies glowing in the dim nest. “But, if anyone has told you there are rules to being an omega, they were lying.”
“That’s… good to know.”
“Bet it is.” I knew what she’d been taught.
“Is that why you protect them like an alpha would?”
“I don’t know…” It was the truth.
“Do you think maybe it will make more sense when we’re not trapped down here?”
“Why do you think I’m fighting so hard to get us out, Firefly?”
“Because you want to see nature again?” she asked.
I raised an eyebrow, peering at her. “Where did you hear that?”
“I was asking Phantom when he was cuddling me last night. Is that what you liked before you were here?” she prodded.
“Don’t remember before. Same as Karma and Vandle.”
“Hmmm…” She frowned. “Then how do you know that’s what you want?”
I snorted. “There’s a mural in the gym. A great big forest with rivers and birds.”
I rarely talked about dreams. Actually—it was a rule I made.
This life in Anarchy was all I’d ever known. What lay beyond? It seemed impossible.
Unknown.
A part of me wondered if the appeals were real at all—or if on the other side of that waiting room they called us into was a firing squad to clear out space for more alphas down here. I’d never say it out loud, but I knew the others had considered it from the occasional flutter of doubt, or coldness, or fear when we brought up the chance of escape.
It was hard not to feel like animals in Anarchy, at the mercy of the faceless men above deciding our fate upon a whim.
Packs were rejected for their appeal, though, if they didn’t qualify—were too feral for normal life. That gave me hope that it wasn’t all just a ruse, and I had to hold on to that.
Though it was a dream that I couldn’t hope for too hard, or I was afraid it might turn to smoke.
The funny thing was, I don’t think I’d ever spoken my dreams out loud. I might just have stared at those murals so long, the others had read into it.
But Crescent looked so hopeful. She’d been here for such a short time, maybe none of this felt so impossible.
Maybe for her, I could say one thing.
One time.
“It would be nice to see a forest,” I said.
Maybe I had. Perhaps before experiments had stolen my memories away.
Sometimes, if I stared at the mural long enough, I caught the faint smell of something earthy, as if there were memories in there somewhere.
She glanced around the rest of the room. “There’s so little of it here. You’ve been here, what, a year and a half?” she asked. She looked sad for me.
I nodded.
Vandle and I had arrived about the same time, and Phantom and Karma had been here twice as long, though they hadn’t found a pack until we came along.
Crescent looked curious. “Why don’t you remember before?”
“There are quite a few down here that came from experimentation or trafficking rings that don’t. Vandle’s another one.”
She frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Means there are some people out there that like to gamble with nature, but they don’t like the evidence getting out.”
